[InvisibleChurch]

haiku? gesundheit!

[RedWhiteBlue]

Bogus documents,
Stick a fork in him, he's done,
buh-bye, Dan Rather.

[Nick Danger]

[Petronski]

Springtime in the woods
Thunder and wind come briefly
Then birds sing again

[struggle]

kagerou-ga
asa-hayaku-kita
misisipi-ni

The hot haze of day
came so early in the morn
in Mississippi.

[LonePalm]

How about these three?
The first two are the same haiku in French and English. I wrote them in my head at a YES concert.

Nous sommes du soleil
Les visages de les enfants
La main de Dieu.

We are of the sun
The faces of the children
God's hand in us all.

In our darkest night
May God bless America
The land of the free.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[Veto!]

Garden a big mess
Many weeds, no sun shining
Flowers feel hopeless.

[MediaMole]

International?
Five Seven Five is July
for most of the world.

Month, day then the year
is an American quirk.
Five July, ought five.

Celebrate today?
Sure. I am patriotic.
F. U. old europe.

[ntnychik]

nonsensical poetry
on freerepublic today
to enjoy

[Yaelle]

A California Haiku

we stumbled through sand
poor but manana we work
now doctor is free

[Charles Henrickson]

Shift out of free verse,
'Cause the meter is running.
No fare changing it.

[Charles Henrickson]

martin_fierro
INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH HUMOR
No amateurs, please.

[IoCaster]

Any old school Quake players here?
An old favorite...

Jumping shotgun guy
Can't you see that I'm glowing
Quad rocket for you

[sushiman]

cessna's lonely drone
on a summer afternoon
in old new england .

[Rightly Biased]

for later

[Rightly Biased]

What do yall think of these?

 

For example:

A dead 'possum
Mercedesed marsupial
I know what's for lunch!

is a southern haiku because the first line only has five syllables if "dead" is pronounced in the Southern fashion: "dey-ad."
What follows is an un-censored archive of the best Southern haiku known to man.

Possums in the trash
Bad to jump and hiss and grin
Pappy, get the gun!

We's a birthin'
n' a-fornicatin' and
a-dyin', all. Yep.
 
Hey bro, I like that.
Happy friday goof off day
weekends almost here

Family Reunion
Relatives from all over
Play spin the bottle

 In the submission below, "grits and "ham" should be read as "gree-its" and "hey-um", respectively

 

Grits and corn bread
Country ham, scrambled eggs:
Breakfast is ready!
 
Messa missin' teeth.
Od truck on blocks in th' yard.
Mah kinda woman!
 
Pig lips on the grill
And watchin' real good auto racin'
If'n only I had cable

Dye-um Yankee trash
Movin' here 'n' git pushy
Kin y'all say sheee-it?

Just some fun ones that I came up with in a whim

Momma nearly DIED
When she larn'd the hogs had et
Willie t'other day...

Likker flowin' on
Rifles, pistols, shotguns, truck
Raisin' hail tonight

Click shotgun chamber
Wedded bliss upon us now
No bastard child here!

Five cases of beer
Snatch strap, come along, Jack D
Jeeter stuck in woods

Spotlight scans woods far
Crack of rifle on dark night
Styrofoam buck dies!

Head feels like pig sty
blue tinge to gums, fire in eyes
Radiator still

Tar arn side o' haid
ball bat stomach whoof grit blow
thems two tough papists

Tranny is gut shot
Fluid pipe pukes out sawdust
S**T brother in law!

These Haiku's are listed with a subject Title

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

Big ol' tornado
I done lost my dad-gum house
All that's left are wheels

Looking for main road?
Boy, you can't get there from here
Have to start elsewhere.

OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability

Deer, cow, horse or dog?
Woods too thick, I cannot tell
What the Hell, I'll shoot

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again

Recall Earl's last words
"Hold my beer and watch this, Bud"
Trucks not meant to fly

A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

Mosquitoes softball-sized
Food for the bats
And good show with zapper

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
you are my cousin

OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggert

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock

DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants 'rassling doll
Mama whups his ass

NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish
needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man

PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed

Wheelless, lifeless, lawned,
Chevy up on cinder blocks--
Monument or task?

[Twinkie]

I thought I would write a haiku,
Nothing rhymed with haiku
I was very sad and almost cried
My haiku was a dismal failure
So, I will not write a haiku.

Uh, what is a haiku?

[Charles Henrickson]

On 5/8/05
We'll have to add a syllable
To the second line.

[Jack Deth]

KITTEN HAIKUS

A orange striped ball of
fluff that weighs next to nothing.
Cures many problems.

There's the Barn of Yarn!
Pounce! Attack! Tumble and Roll!
Fun Time for Kittens!

Basket of warm clothes!
Leap! Plunge! Wiggle down deep!
Warm Kitty Heaven!

Big Food is Napping.
Doesn't curl up like I do.
Tucked under his chin.

Pretty Food has shoes!
Crinkly smooth shoe box paper.
Absolutely Best!

Jack Deth~ 05/07/05.

HAPPY HAIKU DAY!

[Archie Bunker on steroids]

Are we near the pier?

Rotten fish odor abounds

Hillary is loose

[St. Johann Tetzel]

5-7-5 Catholic Haiku:

Liberals are sad
cafeteria is closed
Long live B16

Hmmm...

AmChurch Clergy fear
truth spinning, gray hair thinning
But B16 rules!

This has potential, huh?

Contraception? NO!
because B16 says so!
Sodomites must go!

I never did like haiku, but maybe it has potential...