Posted on 04/04/2005 12:30:35 PM PDT by VRWCmember
Top 10 Signs you are a member of a Redneck Baptist Church
10. Pastor's waders for the baptistry are full camo with a built-in duck-call on the shoulder strap;
9. Sunday's offering receipts included a $10 store credit voucher for Joe Bob's Liquorama;
8. Revivals with guest preacher always coincide with church staff vacation -- the first weekend of deer season;
7. Church bus no longer has wheels or an engine, but is still parked out back to use for Sunday School classroom space;
6. Church orchestra consists of a banjo, steel guitar, mouth organ, bass fiddle, and a tub and washboard.
5. There is a line item in the church budget for Lotto Tickets;
4. Choir robes look suspiciously like Home Depot employee aprons;
3. Yours is the only Baptist Church that Jimmuh Carter will still attend from time to time;
2. On the way out of the church, the deacon chairman's wife told the pastor "That was one hell of a sermon, Preacher!";
and the Number 1 sign you are a member of a Redneck Baptist Church:
1. Communion services: Pizza and Budweiser.
Baptist are always having splits in their churches and forming another one.
I understand the humor, it's just that I see so much of this type that some folks seem to think that's really the way it is! However that said, the opening of deer season in my neck of the woods really does trim the Sunday attendance!!
The scriptural reason is that many Baptists (and other fundamentalists) have focused hard on the biblical admonition in Romans 14:11-21 to avoid doing anything that would make your brother stumble. The idea is that Christianity frees the saved from the Mosaic law (i.e., don't eat pork, etc.). But some in the early church (and it continues today with drinking) believed that God's will was that we shouldn't eat or drink certain things. In Romans 14, Paul notes that for those who have accepted Christ, there is nothing unclean to eat although some may continue to believe that eating or drinking some things is contrary to God's will.
Paul resolves this dispute by noting that there's way more important things - the core doctrine of the Gospel that Jesus was the Son of God, that he came to earth in human form, that he lived a sinless life, that he died on the cross and thus offered his perfect life for our sins, and that he was resurrected after three days - than what you eat and drink.
Nonetheless, if a Christian believes that certain food or drink is unclean or sinful and partakes anyway, Romans notes that that is the same as willful disobedience to God, which is sin. So it's not the actual works or acts that are important, but rather whether the Christian is conforming him or herself to God's will. Doing something that you think is sinful is sin, even though the specific act is not in itself sinful.
Consequently, Paul admonishes Christians not to tempt their brothers & sisters in Christ by eating or drinking something that other Christians consider sinful. In other words, avoid drinking in front of someone who could be tempted or led astray by your alcohol consumption. Place their needs ahead of your own. At the obvious level, don't take your recovering alcoholic buddy to a bar and grill for dinner. At the more subtle level, the person you're drinking in front of might be a closet drinker or otherwise on the edge.
With all that background, if you eat or drink something in light of repeated statements in the NT that there are no unclean foods for Christians, don't do it in front of other Christians (particularly baptists) who might consider it sinful.
Also increadibly rigid and conformist demands of the local leadership. Almost cult like in how they monitored and watched people live their lives. Yet...(true story below)
The choir director was an adulterer and pervert, yet was allowed to lead (to this day) because, well, he's leadership in this NJ based GARBC church. He cheated constantly on his wife. Even dropped her off for Sunday school, caught at his lover's house during that time, and was back to lead the 11:00 am hour. Also groped the future spouse, when she was 15-16 years old. But obviously overlooked because of his leadership role. Amazing how Biblical principals demanded of others are ignored. Not accusing them of hypocracy; a cult simply beleives they are 'right' in handling these matters.
That's why I say GARBC is cult like. Can't hang the pervert choir director problems necc. on the Association. But the church leadership knew of this guy and his lifestyle, and left him in a position of leadership. It is cult like behaviour to live apart from reality, for ex. allowing this (above) to occur, yet demanding a pure lifestyle and obedience of all other members. And at the same time, label all others, such as SBC's, as reprobates.
GARBC is a close to a cult as can be, if such a thing is possible in evangelical christianity.
Also increadibly rigid and conformist demands of the local leadership. Almost cult like in how they monitored and watched people live their lives. Yet...(true story below)
The choir director was an adulterer and pervert, yet was allowed to lead (to this day) because, well, he's leadership in this NJ based GARBC church. He cheated constantly on his wife. Even dropped her off for Sunday school, caught at his lover's house during that time, and was back to lead the 11:00 am hour. Also groped the future spouse, when she was 15-16 years old. But obviously overlooked because of his leadership role. Amazing how Biblical principals demanded of others are ignored. Not accusing them of hypocracy; a cult simply beleives they are 'right' in handling these matters.
That's why I say GARBC is cult like. Can't hang the pervert choir director problems necc. on the Association. But the church leadership knew of this guy and his lifestyle, and left him in a position of leadership. It is cult like behaviour to live apart from reality, for ex. allowing this (above) to occur, yet demanding a pure lifestyle and obedience of all other members. And at the same time, label all others, such as SBC's, as reprobates.
GARBC is a close to a cult as can be, if such a thing is possible in evangelical christianity.
I guess I had a much better experience with them here in Iowa. The pastor was excellent raising a huge family of 7 kids and nice wife in a tiny parsonage. He couldn't preach enough about the power of prayer and the value of the bible. Loved the man.
Yet if he is still GARBC I bet he would not beleive what I told you. Why, no one in GARBC leadership would lie that lifestyle. Must be some lying ex-member who has an ax to grind.
He would believe it just fine. We had an evangelist visit our church, show his show, and ax for support. A year later we heard that he nad been pulled from the field because he was sleeping with his 16 yearold daughter.
Same as how do you keep a Mormon from drinking your beer when you take him fishing? Take another Mormon along.
Ping! you ol'redneck!
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