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Alcohol Warning
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Posted on 03/28/2005 12:08:15 PM PST by PoorMuttly

Subject: ALCOHOL WARNING Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your underwear. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan type reel gode.~


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alcohol; fda; warninglabels
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To: PoorMuttly

First time I have seen it and I like it, thank you.

The dancing one rang a huge bell to me.

Saved on my hard drive.


21 posted on 03/28/2005 7:42:47 PM PST by HuntsvilleTxVeteran (When you compromise with evil, evil wins. AYN RAND)
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To: PoorMuttly
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy." - Oscar Levant (concert pianist and raconteur)
22 posted on 03/28/2005 9:09:00 PM PST by llevrok (Born a ham and never cured!)
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To: PoorMuttly

I will add these words of wisdom to my homebrew labels !

Thank yeeeeew Muttly !!


23 posted on 03/28/2005 9:35:26 PM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ©)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)

Great tagline. So true.


24 posted on 03/29/2005 8:52:15 AM PST by sully777 (It's like my momma always said, "Two wrongs don't make a right but two Wrights make an airplane.")
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

(People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)



Always tell people that you exist, how you came to exist, how you continue to exist, where you reside in your existance, and what you exist on.

Never tell them you're planned existance-you may have a shadow of an idea but and they're too dim to know if they exist at all.


25 posted on 03/29/2005 9:01:36 AM PST by sully777 (It's like my momma always said, "Two wrongs don't make a right but two Wrights make an airplane.")
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To: sully777

Thanks.


26 posted on 03/29/2005 9:27:24 AM PST by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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