Scary thought: I know people who have used these.
My favorite excuse is that I'm having vision problems. I just can't see going to work today.
And the Boss has the nerve to ask me
"Just how many Monkeys do you have?"
I can't come to work today because the voices are telling me to clean all of my guns.
This has actually happened to me. It was easier to just say I was sick than to explain it.
Many years ago I carpooled with a friend, John. We were going on day shift after 2 years on graveyards.
Monday, when I came to pick him up, he was still asleeep. I waited and we were 20 minutes late. Got a glare from the supervisor (who fortunately was a friend).
Tuesday, same routine, except that the supervisor called us in and warned us that if it happened again, we'd both be written up.
Wednesday, I woke him up again ... told him I'd check him later and I went on to work. When he came in the supervisor asked him why he was late and said "it better be good."
John told him that when he went to kiss his wife (who was pregnant at the time) goodbye, she threw up on him and he'd had to shower and change clothes .... the supervisor just shook his head and told him to get to work.
John is in upper management now.
my cat has actually unplugged my alarm clock several times ... really!
I couldn't get across the highway.
My little sister needed $5 and she was already at school and my mom babysits kids at the house and I didn't have $5, so I had to watch the kids while my mom took $5 to my little sister.
I had a flat tire.
The electricity went out (the day before) and my alarm clock didn't go off.
Oh, I guess I should mention he lives two minutes from work. Or less.
Mr. Melbell often tells me he wants to "call in slick"
Well you'll just have to stop spanking the monkey!