Posted on 03/11/2005 6:46:21 AM PST by pissant
A German who persuaded doctors to give him a second penis has lost his wife after he showed her the result.
Biker Michael Gruber, 40, lost his original penis in a motorbike accident and doctors built him a second one using a mixture of skin, bone and other tissues from his own body.
The penis worked so well that he was even able to father a child with his wife Bianca, 25, and their son Etienne was born last year.
But Gruber was still not happy and asked doctors to repeat the operation and build him a better organ, to which they agreed.
However, before removing the first penis doctors said they needed to make sure the new tissue transplant was a success, and had to leave the first penis in place.
Dr Markus Kuentscher, a plastic surgeon at Berlin's Accident Hospital, said: "We left the old one attached until the new one is properly supplied with blood."
But when Gruber showed his wife his double penis, she went home, packed her bags and left.
From his hospital bed he said: "I've got two penises but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of one of the penises I will get her back."
His testicles are intact and will be connected to what is actually his third penis when doctors are happy the operation was a success.
His story was this week featured on a German TV documentary called The Last Penis Operation.
A guy is driving around and sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking CAT For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the cat is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a cat sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Cat replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Cat looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a cat would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down.
"I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of kittens, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the cat.
"Ten bucks." The guy says.
"This cat is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?
"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that sh!t.
Was that his personal name, or the name of his work unit?
Good one. Twisted ending. ;O)
Probably a real name - if he was making it up it would have "huge" or "big" next to it..........
That's why I don't like cats - you can't trust 'em
I was just trying to work in the word "unit."
You were working a unit? I was just pointing out how men exaggerate........ ;^)
I could easily have used HTML to make the unit bigger . . . oh, nevermind.
To know them is to love them, actually. That 'can't trust 'em' bit is a myth. <-----My cat forced me at pawpoint to post that. :o)
Awe, if it were only that easy..........;^)
Cats are too smart - they obviously rule the world
Dogs have masters, cats have staff.
Goodnight
Damn German freak!
ROFL!!
Knarly !
Organ donor get new organ.....
Squantos, I heard the surgeon put himself through medical school performing as an organ grinder................ ;^)
LOL....Rumor has it thats the first Organ his wifes body has ever rejected.....:o)
Major applause on that one........I can't even begin to top that - lol
AAARGH! Shaggy dog joke award to you!
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