Posted on 03/01/2005 4:31:23 AM PST by BigWaveBetty
Even Sen. Edward Kennedy doesn't think Kerry is worth his time. On Monday February 28th Kennedy presented the Distinguished American Award via the phone.
Kerry, now known as Mr. Irrelevant, did manage to make the news in Massachusetts, however the rest of the nation could care less. Yahoo didn't even bother with a story.
Strategists say Kerry will use his new political action committee, Keeping America's Promise, to promote his agenda, help party causes and keep his army of 2.7 million supporters together. [Does anyone know what his agenda is, considering whatever he says it is changes 180 degrees the next time he addresses the issue]
.... He's been busy pushing legislation on kid's health care, traveling overseas, raising money and expanding his political network. [Oh, I see, "kid's" health care - just the one kid, presumably - is the sum total of Effin's agenda, apart from globetrotting and raising more money?] Boston Herald
Sounds like y'all dodged a bullet! What a relief for her...and you!
Get some sleep. You've earned it.
Indeed, I'm fading fast.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
Dave Miliman
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; That is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am.
Unknown
Doggone it (no pun intended), I want a dog! We just have to find a house with a bigger yard.
WHICH married movie studio biggie has been having a long-term affair with a well-preserved blonde who had two famous husbands? This explains why she hasn't had an official boyfriend for a few years.
Sightings: CHELSEA Clinton intensely working out with her trainer at Equinox on East 19th Street.
hello
just passin' thru
bbl
I never guess those gossip riddles from Page 6. =(
Good morning, all. Let's begin with news of a cat fight:
MADONNA is firing back at Boy George after the '80s pop star blasted her for cynically bilking her gay fans. George says Madonna's devotion to Kabbalah is the ultimate act of hypocrisy. "It's ironic that she's joined an organization that says homosexuality is a disease that can be cured and no one picks her up on it," George told the London Times. "After making all those millions of dollars out of gay people, pretending to kiss girls, pretending to be a lesbian! I think she's cynical."
But Madonna's rep, Liz Rosenberg, says George is the one being cynical. "There's not enough room on PAGE SIX to respond to Boy George's ridiculous accusations," she told our Jared Paul Stern, "much less list Madonna's long-standing passion, love, commitment and devotion to the gay community which has not changed for 20 years." .... (more blather at Page Six)
Now there's something you'd want on the old tombstone: "She had passion, love, commitment and devotion to the gay community."
Lord have mercy.
Jon Stewart could be forgiven if he arrived a little late to yesterday's taping of "The Daily Show." He was busy getting his wife, Tracey McShane, out of jail. The normally wisecracking comic looked understandably anxious as he waited while his handcuffed sweetheart spent close to five hours being booked for driving with a suspended license. McShane, 36, was driving through Central Park around 11 a.m. when she was pulled over for a moving violation, police confirmed to us. ... rest of story
This is what I would call a tenuous connection:
WASHINGTON - Some lawmakers who slam porn as a scourge to society got big bucks from corporations that profit from adult videos and phone sex, a watchdog group said yesterday. Among the biggest recipients of such campaign contributions were some of the best-known champions of moral values, including Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Joe Lieberman (D-Conn.) and Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) and House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-Texas), according to Citizens for Responsible Ethics in Washington. "This is about hypocrisy .... These are members of Congress who have taken a stand against pornography," the group's director, Melanie Sloan, said.
"If you're going to take a stand against this kind of thing, you have an obligation to know where the money is coming from."
The group's report, "Addicted to Porn," looked at lawmakers who accepted at least $10,000 from companies that profit from adult entertainment. Among well-known contributors who made millions of dollars from adult entertainment were Holiday Inn and Marriott, which cash in on in-room, pay-per-view entertainment; cable companies like Comcast, Time-Warner and Cox that air X-rated shows, and long-distance carriers like AT&T that profit from phone sex, the report said.
Several lawmakers did not immediately return calls but a spokeswoman for Lieberman - who got $16,200 from companies that had some involvement with porn, according to the report - said many of the corporations "produce a wide range of goods and services. A lot of them are good." source
______________
I'm sorry, but saying AT&T profits from porn because of phone sex, or Holiday Inn profits from porn because of in-room movies may be true, in a technical but miniscule sense, but porn is hardly these companies' raison d'etre. It's only slightly more logical than saying my local Kroger store profits from clothing sales because I put on a coat before driving to the grocery store.
The senator added that although this was not considered a life-threatening procedure, that didn't keep her and Chelsea from "worrying together and praying together."
It is gonna be a long 3 1/2 years or so...
But, it will be interesting. Karen Hughes is coming back to D.C. to help W get some legislation passed and, hopefully, some conservative judges confirmed...
Whatever Hillary prays for probably would scare us. Can you imagine the "grieving widow" act she'd put on if/when x42 dies? It would be worth at least 10 million votes, no doubt.
TERESA Heinz, wife of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, will be ridiculed more savagely than the other targets at tonight's Gridiron Club gala in Washington — and the woman playing Teresa is one of her biggest supporters in the media, ancient White House reporter and George W. Bush-hater Helen Thomas.
At the club's 120th annual dinner of song and satire, Thomas, who once described Bush as "the worst president of my lifetime," will come out as Teresa and sing to the tune of "Thank Heaven for Little Girls."
But Maurice Chevalier wouldn't recognize the new lyrics: "Thank heaven, he lost the race/I'd have to move into a smaller place/Thank heaven, no Air Force One/My plane is faster and it has more space . . . Thank heaven, he lost the race/Now I can tell the press/Just how and when and where to go/And I'm allowed my wine and escargots."
Other singers will pose as filmmaker Michael Moore, sprinter Marion Jones, baseball star Barry Bonds, Sen. Ted Kennedy, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, Pakistani President Musharraf and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.
Every president since Benjamin Harrison (with the exception of Grover Cleveland) has attended the annual white-tie dinner thrown by the Gridiron Club, founded in 1855 and limited to 65 D.C.-based journalists.
Two prospective 2008 presidential candidates — Gov. Bill Richardson (D-N.M.) and Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) — are expected to speak on behalf of their parties tonight.
Gridiron president Richard Ryan will note that many residents of New Mexico see Richardson as a future president: "Of course, many people in New Mexico also see flying saucers near Roswell."
Showing bipartisanship, Ryan will take issue with Hagel's claim that he's on good terms with the White House: "He showed me his personal invitation to the White House Valentine's Day party, which he received yesterday."
In a skit making fun of the GOP, the journalists will sing the tune of "God Bless the U.S.A." with new lyrics: "I support our troops and airmen 'cause I know that war is hell/And I voted twice for W, 'cause it's a name that I can spell./I know the Bill of Rights allows me to bear arms and carry beer/And I support defense of marriage 'cause I divorced three chicks last year." (Page Six)
In honor of the late actress Greta Garbo's 100th birthday, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will present a centennial tribute to the Hollywood legend on April 7, 2005 in Beverly Hills. Garbo is shown in this undated file photograph. The event will be hosted by Academy Award nominated actress Lena Olin and will include appearances by actress Joan Leslie and authors Gore Vidal and Gavin Lambert, who are among the few living individuals to have known Garbo.
WASHINGTON (AP) - John Kerry's wife sang about how happy she is that he wasn't elected. Karl Rove revealed his successful strategy for winning President Bush a second term. Wannabe presidential candidates pressed for advantage in the 2008 race. It was as close to "Saturday Night Live" as Washington gets, as journalists assumed the personas of politicians in song, dance and wisecracks at the Gridiron Club's 120th annual dinner.
It's a journalistic tradition in which, for one night, members of the Fourth Estate turn the tables on the powerful people they report and write about daily. The Gridiron Club's motto is to "singe, but never burn."
In a nod to 2008, they parodied the White House aspirations of Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel of Nebraska and Democratic Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico, featured speakers at the white-tie dinner.
Richardson compared the Bush's administration's treatment of U.S. allies over the Iraq war to the NCAA basketball tournament.
"Sixty-four teams start and they're whittled down to just one," Richardson said in prepared remarks. "Kind of reminds me of what we've done with our allies."
Hagel paid tribute to Johnny Carson, a Nebraska legend, by impersonating "Carnac the Magnificent," one of the late comedian's characters.
"Answer: March Madness," Hagel said. "What do Democrats call my Social Security plan?"
Following another close presidential election, the show poked fun at despondent Democrats and smug Republicans.
Prison-striped Democratic leaders were seen trying to figure a way out of "Gitmo," the U.S. facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where the government is holding suspected terrorists.
One sketch had Massachusetts Sen. Kerry singing a lament about "why, oh why, oh why did I ever lose Ohio?" while in the next scene wife Teresa Heinz Kerry appeared positively giddy over her husband's loss to Bush.
"Thank heaven, he lost the race," her character sang to the tune of "Thank Heaven for Little Girls." "Now I can tell the press just how and when and where to go, and I'm allowed my wine and escargots."
Republicans were singed, too.
To the tune of "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy," a Karl Rove impersonator sang about the challenges of turning Bush into presidential timber. "He looked smug, he looked dim. How we gonna win with him?" he sang. Bush and his wife, Laura, were in the audience.
Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld was rapped for his Iraq war planning. "Rummy, have you some spare Teflon coating that we could wear?" soldiers sang to the tune of "Mister Sandman." "You said we'd win Iraq with ease, Mr. Rumsfeld, we need Humvees."
Other 2008-themed skits portrayed Democratic Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York singing about how she'll "turn those red states blue" and Senate newcomer Barack Obama of Illinois, prancing around in a gold outfit and halo, urging the party to "go with a guy who walks on water."
Founded in 1885, the Gridiron Club is made up of Washington news bureau chiefs, columnists, reporters, cartoonists and editors. It exists only for the annual dinner and political roast. Every president since Benjamin Harrison, except for Grover Cleveland, has attended.
In other news: PETA Takes on J.Lo Over Fur Fashions
Models parade down the runway during the finale of the Jennifer Lopez Fall 2005 Collection, Friday, Feb.11, 2005, New York. (AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)
Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find the Gridiron Club's humor terribly humorous this year.
No, it's not just you. I felt like they were really stuggling, and failed to find humor.
stuggling=struggling
geesh
The actress, 42, is coming up to her eighth week with her fourth child — the first with her long-term boy toy.
Kutcher, 27, expressed his desire to be a father last month on "Oprah," but made no mention that he may be less than eight months away from becoming one.
Kutcher has been prepping for fatherhood by keeping close ties with Demi's three daughters from her 13-year marriage to Bruce Willis — which ended in 2000.
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