Why Men Should Not Marry

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[Erasmus]

I've been told that I'm a machine.

I've been told that I'm a machine tool.

...

Well, all right, I made up the part about "machine."

[najida]

I'll do that. :o) You, though, have already won my heart with the "Tools I Have Loved" page....although as Laz pointed out, it might make lesser men feel inadequate. ;o)

Well, go there if you dare ;)

[Lazamataz]

Well, all right, I made up the part about "machine."

I didn't make up the part about being called a machine.

But, you see, one woman explained it to me this way:

"You are a MACHINE, baby! That is to say, you make funny noises, you only have one or two uses, and if you don't get a lot of maintenance, you break down."

[Slip18]

"I hardly ever wear any pants."

I hardly ever wear clothes. That's okay, isn't it?

[Lazamataz]

I hardly ever wear clothes. That's okay, isn't it?

[Slip18]

Get a good camera. You can experience highs and lows (macros and micros) from them. You can even fall in love with photographs and ENLARGE or make them really small.

I loves ya, Lazzie.

[Slip18]

Laz, I'm eight years older than Cyber. He will be lowering me into the grave very gently. Then he gets all my/our money to play around when the playground is open.

[Slip18]

Hehehehehehehe!

We have a loathing of clothing around here. Why bother? Except when we go out, of course.

When my FIL calls he always asks me if I've got clothes on. I tell him, "No, but I'll put some on if you come over." He belly laughs.

When I was about 19, my girl friend and I decided to go to a nudist camp in the mountains -- then down the mountains via walking -- near San Bernardino, CA. There's a hot springs located there. I told my dad I was going. He told me I would be sorry. And he was right. My buttinsky was burnt so badly, I couldn't sit down for days. My dad just laughed.

[Cyber Liberty]

Docker's getting better???

[Slip18]

Yes, he is. He's laying on the floor in the hallway, but has managed to climb on the couch in the study. He also went outside for a bit. He's very tired, though. He's almost 14. *sigh*

[Choose Ye This Day]

I love that photo.

[Slip18]

I'm sure they were taking turns hauling the hay.

[Cyber Liberty]

Ahhhh. Good to be home doing work now. All those yucky clothes were feeling...yucky.

[Nea Wood]

You end up being closely tied to an old woman.

And the woman will be tied to an old man! But of course it doesn't matter if a man is old. He can still be picky.

[506trooper]

I was going to let my wife of 39+ years read this, but I decided to trash her browser to prevent it.

I don't want to have to answer all the points one by one. It would be a losing proposition.

I used to feign deafness to avoid responding to stuff like this.

I learned my lesson the day she asked me "Do these pants make me look fat"? and I replied "It's not the pants".

[Slip18]

"I learned my lesson the day she asked me "Do these pants make me look fat"? and I replied "It's not the pants".

You missed your chance. You could have said, "What's inside those pants make me excited."

Guys miss out on the best opportunities.

[eccentric]

LOL no, if you had learned your lesson, you wouldn't be telling all of us....

[506trooper]

Trust me folks, it was an old joke thrown in for the sake of humor....

In the first place, if I said any thing like that, she'd have whupped my butt.

In the second place, you don't get to be married for almost 40 years by missing too many opportunities.

Believe me, marriage was/is my salvation and my nemesis, but I ignore the downside because the upside is so much better.

I think she sticks around to see what I'll do next and because, (she says), I make her laugh.

[Slip18]

Cyber usually has me in stitches laughing. I'm more of the straight "woman," a la Gracie Allen. Then he gets laughing. I couldn't get a metaphor correctly if my life depended on it. LOL!

[Slip18]

Oh, I'm so happy for you!!!