The Guild 4-3-2004 Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

Sour Bob ^ | Sour Bob

[Utah Girl]

Things Bob Actually Does Know About Women #27

or, The Math of Phone Numbers

• where x is the number of girls for whose phone numbers you ask...
  
• where K is the percentage of the same-age dating population left over after you weed out the emotionally disturbed, chronically chemically-addled, intellectually unsatisfying, personality-challenged, and essentially unavailable persons...
  

• where y is the percentage of people who maintain their attractiveness in the harsh light of day, away from free-flowing drinks and neon beer lights...
  
• where z represents the rate of people who will either give you a crap number, screen your call out, or never answer your message...
  
• where b represents the likelihood that, all things being equal, either of you will continue to show interest at the time of this follow-up call...
  
• where 2 is considered to be the random-weirdness-that-can-screw-anything-up-where-dating-is-concerned factor...

Given all of this, the odds of successfully attaining a date based on a phone number attained at a bar can be expressed by the following equation:

Assuming K to be .85, figuring y to be around .5 (although it may be considerably higher if you drink heavily, or slightly lower if you don't drink at all), estimating z to be around .15, and putting b at around a two out of three chance...

Going by those numbers, you need to ask for about twelve numbers for every date you expect to get.

[Utah Girl]

This tickled my funny bone. It is dedicated to those of us still out in the dating world...

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[Iowa Granny]

I do poorly with math problems, so it's a good thing I don't have to be worrying about stuff like this.

Do you know if there is a reverse equation for available men?

I have a 25 y.o. who is one of those guys running around out there. I don't know if he takes numbers in bars and then never calls. He's kind of a private sort of guy and doesn't discuss these matters with me.

[lodwick]

Palm Sunday

The Reading is from John 12:1-18

Six days before Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazaros was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. There they made him a supper; Martha served, and Lazaros was one of those at table with him. Mary took a pound of costly ointment of pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the ointment. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was to betray him), said "Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?" This he said, not that he cared for the poor but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box he used to take what was put into it. Jesus said, "Let her alone, let her keep it for the day of my burial. The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me."

When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came, not only on account of Jesus but also to see Lazaros, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests planned to put Lazaros also to death, because on account of him many of the Jews were going away and believing in Jesus.

The next day a great crowd who had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying, "Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!" And Jesus found a young donkey and sat upon it; as it is written, "Fear not, daughter of Zion; behold, your king is coming, sitting on a donkey's colt!" His disciples did not understand this at first; but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that this had been written of him and had been done to him. The crowd that had been with him when he called Lazaros out of the tomb and raised him from the dead bore witness. The reason why the crowd went to meet him was that they heard he had done this sign.

[lodwick]

[mountaineer]

Interesting how Kerry tried to spin the good employment news:

In his weekly radio address, Bush says yesterday's report showing U-S companies added 300-thousand new jobs last month shows ``The nation's future is bright.'' He says tax cuts have propelled the economy -- helping create over three-quarters of a million jobs. But, Democrat John Kerry says manufacturing jobs lag far behind. ... Kerry says, ``This administration just hasn't made creating new jobs or fighting for the ones we have top priority.'' link

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Well, Pepe, then that's quite a feat to have created over 300,000 new jobs without even making it a priority, eh? What a doofus.

[lodwick]

Poor Pepe, bless his heart.

Shrill will have to step up at the convention to save the party...she still out-polls any of the dims when put into the mix.

Good day, back there.

[lodwick]

Learn Your State Motto

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Florida: Home of the headless drivers

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto right here!

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To an Attorney .....

[mountaineer]

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

That's pretty close. Here in WV, ours is "Thank goodness for Mississippi" (otherwise, we'd rank 50th, instead of 49th, in most economic and educational categories).

[lodwick]

Hang in there WV, with our open borders and gazillion illegals here, TX will soon be challenging you and MS for the most awful state.

[mean lunch lady]

OK, I have lived in Florida all my life and never seen any headless drivers. What does that mean??

[lodwick]

Hey there MLL - I think that it's referring to all the seasoned citizens that are viewing the boulevard from between the top of the steering wheel and the dashboard.

Or it could be the blacks that prefer to drive with the seat fully reclined.

Your choice.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I have been going door to door every day to get signatures for a Republican candidate.

I have run into far more democrats that I ever dreamed possible. Most of those have been teachers. The teachers told me to stay away from teacher houses, they are NEA and want nothing to do with Bush. ( as if there is a 'Warning, Teacher Lives Here' sign)

I now have Bush stickers on the back of my petition clipboard and I hold it up when they ask who I represent. They either slam the door in my face or tell me how much they love him. A couple people asked me in or asked me to come back and talk to them!

There are a lot of trusting people out there, and then there are the NEA types.

I also can't wait for it to stop snowing. Where is spring?

[mean lunch lady]

Oh, it all makes perfect sense now. I remember those seasoned citizens (I am almost one of them now) who used to try to run my children over with their cars in the grocery store- and then they talk about young people these days not having any manners!! I will never act like that no matter how old I get. I have left orders with my husband that if I ever behave like that, I am to be put out of my misery immediately.

[lodwick]

Here's some spring pretties.

[mean lunch lady]

In answer to your questionL"Where is Spring?" It's here in North Central Florida. We are having reasonably decent weather except that the pollen count is up to about 4 billion (Who counts pollen, anyway?) and the allergy season is in full swing. Got Claritin?

[Timeout]

An even better entry for the Kerry album! Go to this thread about Kerry in church today....see #25!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1111300/posts

[Timeout]

I still think about that email you got from someone in Iraq....the one about "good news" this summer.

I've been seeing references again lately to huge underground bunkers where WMD are buried. I sure like thinking that's it.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I just sent that soldier ( captain, actually ) a big CARE package for him and his troops. I am awaiting an email from him when it arrives and I will also see what else I can get out of him about his 'good news'.

Here is my friend in Africa looking down a well.