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"Hollywood Needs a Bailout" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 June 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/21/2026 10:19:59 AM PDT by John Semmens

Sen. Adam Schiff (D–Calif) wants "federal money for subsidies for movies to be made in Hollywood. For over 100 years movies made in Hollywood have entertained the world. Lately, though, more and more movies are being made in other states and countries where costs are lower. It's not fair. I've drafted legislation that will help offset the higher California costs by providing more federal support for this historically vital industry."

"Critics say the high cost of making movies in California is our own fault," Schiff observed. "They say that corruption and incompetent government are self-inflicted wounds. Well, Spencer Pratt said this too, but voters rejected his offer to bring clean and efficient government to Los Angeles. That is their right under our democracy. Consequently, there simply is no other way to save Hollywood filmmakers without external infusions of cash."

President Trump said "I doubt that the representatives from the rest of the states will agree to subsidize Hollywood. Movies are made outside of Hollywood for very good reasons. Other states don't have the oppressive layers of regulations and corruption that they have in California. Why shouldn't this competitive advantage be used to the benefit of these other states and the customers who pay to see movies?"

Schiff warned that "these other states may not be able to keep costs as low as they might be in other countries. In the short term they may think they'll be better off, but in the long term our nation may have to face a future where nearly all movies are made in foreign countries. What will happen if these foreign countries withhold movies from us? We saw how disruptive it was when OPEC held back oil during the 1970s. Folks spent hours in lines waiting to buy gasoline. Do we want to have to go through this with movies? I think subsidizing Hollywood is our best bet for preventing such a catastrophe."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: adamschiff; california; hollywood; satire; schiff; trump

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1 posted on 06/21/2026 10:19:59 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Bail ‘em out, Schiff.


2 posted on 06/21/2026 10:23:23 AM PDT by alstewartfan (I AM Charlie Kirk. ❤️✝️)
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To: John Semmens

The last movie I saw in a theatre was Dick Tracy.


3 posted on 06/21/2026 10:25:11 AM PDT by ComputerGuy
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To: John Semmens

What will happen if these foreign countries withhold movies from us? We saw how disruptive it was when OPEC held back oil during the 1970s. Folks spent hours in lines waiting to buy gasoline. Do we want to have to go through this with movies? I think subsidizing Hollywood is our best bet for preventing such a catastrophe.”


we will have to wait in line for movies..........


4 posted on 06/21/2026 10:29:56 AM PDT by PeterPrinciple ((Thinking Caps are no longer being issued, but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere))
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To: ComputerGuy

Just last month I went to see “The Sheep Detectives” with my Sister and Nephew, that was the first movie I went to see in the theater since “The Others” back in 2001.


5 posted on 06/21/2026 10:30:32 AM PDT by EvilCapitalist (I wasn't expecting a kind of Spanish Inquisition.)
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To: EvilCapitalist

Yeah, it’s been quite some time since I have seen a movie in a theater. I did go as a young adult while in college, but it soon became annoying having to deal with disruptive people while watching the movies. I can’t imagine that has gotten any better.


6 posted on 06/21/2026 10:34:08 AM PDT by CatOwner (Don't expect anyone, even conservatives, to have your back when the SHTF in 2021 and beyond.)
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To: John Semmens

The feds should look at this similar to NPR. There is no balance in Hollywood today. It’s a left wing propaganda machine and nothing else.


7 posted on 06/21/2026 10:36:17 AM PDT by xp38
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To: John Semmens

He is really that stupid, or is he just a shill for Hollywood? I think both.


8 posted on 06/21/2026 10:37:58 AM PDT by econjack
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To: All

If Hollywood could spend the modern day equivalent of of 60 million to make Star Wars they shouldn’t be spending 200 million to make a 2.5 hour toy commercial today


9 posted on 06/21/2026 10:48:01 AM PDT by escapefromboston (Peace, commerce and honest friendship with all nations, entangling alliances with none.)
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To: ComputerGuy

Last time I was in a theater was to see the remake of True Grit. Today’s superhero movies are not for me.


10 posted on 06/21/2026 10:51:18 AM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar (REOPEN THE CLOSED MENTAL HOSPITALS! Closed in the 1970s, murders by crazies sky rocketed!)
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To: John Semmens

Go back to entertainment and stop making GARBAGE Freak Training films


11 posted on 06/21/2026 11:03:16 AM PDT by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: John Semmens

F@#$ Hollywood. Nothing but woke trash for years. And, they do piccies outside Hollywood to avoid ruinous union labor rates and rules anywhere within 30 miles.


12 posted on 06/21/2026 11:06:54 AM PDT by bobbo666
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To: John Semmens

Critics say the high cost of making movies in California is our own fault.

Indeed you can only bleed something so much before it dies.


13 posted on 06/21/2026 11:13:17 AM PDT by Vaduz (NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
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To: EvilCapitalist
Just last month I went to see “The Sheep Detectives”

Hubby and I went to see that movie. What a really sweet movie that was.

14 posted on 06/21/2026 11:20:29 AM PDT by LibertarianLiz
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To: John Semmens
Hollywierd, much like the POS Schiff, needs an enema... preferably one that is not taxpayer funded.
15 posted on 06/21/2026 11:55:02 AM PDT by Common Sense 101
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To: econjack

He’s on the Hollywood donation list.


16 posted on 06/21/2026 12:06:39 PM PDT by DPMD (u)
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To: John Semmens

What Hollywood really needs is first an exorcism of their “wokeness” and a batch of new writers and producers capable of something other than remakes.


17 posted on 06/21/2026 12:07:13 PM PDT by sjmjax
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To: Common Sense 101

I have heard that many people are donating money for the enema’s high pressure fire hose.


18 posted on 06/21/2026 12:07:51 PM PDT by DPMD (u)
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