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Posted on 03/22/2026 10:23:37 AM PDT by DFG
PARIS — French President Emmanuel Macron explained today that the French Army simply could not help open the Strait of Hormuz as all fifteen of its soldiers have already been deployed to defend Greenland.
Though expressing their sincere desire to help, Macron stated that France simply did not have the military resources to help open the Strait while maintaining its protection of Greenland.
"All of France's military might, specifically the one unit we have with fifteen soldiers, is already deployed," said Macron. "They cannot be relocated as they are bravely defending the shores of Greenland. Specifically, the one shore that's about fifty yards wide, the one next to 'Uncle Yert's Fish And Crabs.' You know the place. Anyhow, really wish we could help."
Macron did offer President Trump his apologies, stating that France genuinely wished they had the resources. "If only we had more soldiers. We did have a sixteenth soldier, but he suffered a devastating baguette injury and will be out of commission for several months," said Macron. "Thus, France cannot contribute to this just cause. Je suis désolé, mon amour!"
At publishing time, the French army had been reduced to fourteen soldiers after a horrifying escargot accident.
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The Baker’s Dozen ,LOL
Who, as all surrender monkeys do, immediately gave up their weapons and begged for asylum.
Beautiful!
France actually has quite a military.
And it has been involved in at least 10 countries in recent years.
not including Greenland
but yes, I get the message. When it comes to helping USA, France is too busy elsewhere.
Good joke by the Bee.
France knew it couldn’t fight a two front war.
To be fair, they are still trying to recall the French soldiers who surrendered and scattered when some kids on the beach lit up sparklers.
I remember seeing ads like this in shotgun news not that many years ago
“Surplus World War II French rifles available. In great condition, never fired and only dropped once.”
It’s funny and it isn’t.
I’m old enough to remember WW2 and all the American lives lost getting the Nazis out of Europe. It was reported daily on the news.
Russia: 45
China: 36
France: 19
United Kingdom: 8
Bangladesh: 5
Brazil: 4
Cuba: 4
Saudi Arabia: 3
North Korea: 1
Iran: 1
Croatia: 1
Uruguay: 2
United Arab Emirates: 2
Key Country Specifics
United States: The U.S. Navy has retired most of its 14 Avenger-class ships, with only eight remaining as of early 2026, primarily based in Japan and Bahrain.
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