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Alarming Study Shows Average Somali High School Senior In Minnesota Committing Fraud At Just A 5th Grade Level
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/10/2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/10/2026 1:06:32 PM PST by DFG

EDINA, MN — An alarming new study of Minnesota schools revealed that the average Somali high school senior is only committing fraud at a 5th-grade level.

While Minnesota's numbers still lead the nation, education experts said that the statistic was "a bad sign" for a state traditionally well-recognized for its students' fraud aptitude.

"It's quite worrisome — the average fraud level of Minnesota's Somali seniors has been slowly declining," warned Kaylee McCaulkins, who works for Minnesota's Department of Education. "We've been throwing everything we've got at them, short of opening daycares and learing centers for them ourselves, but it's so difficult to teach students who aren't getting it. Next thing you know, Ohio or Washington kids are going to start testing better than our Somali students."

Administrators and teachers have reportedly banded together to offer remedial classes in fraudulent dealings to Somali high schoolers with little access to resources.

"It would be such a shame to see this thriving culture die out, just because we teachers and educators couldn't step up to save it," said Gwendolynn Bierson, who teaches at Burnsville High. "I'm going to start offering extra credit for any of my Somali students who can demonstrate exceptional progress in fraud over the course of this semester."

At publishing time, another study had revealed terrifying news that over 80% of Minnesota seniors still had the same gender they were assigned at birth.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; fraud; gradelevel; minnesota; satire; somali

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1 posted on 02/10/2026 1:06:32 PM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Diversity is our greatest strength (/s)


2 posted on 02/10/2026 1:10:28 PM PST by mrmeyer (You can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him. Robert Heinlein)
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To: DFG

Game they learned for gambling at the playground.
💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AN6anRVdppw


3 posted on 02/10/2026 1:12:01 PM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: DFG
"It would be such a shame to see this thriving culture die out,

That's what we said about our American Way of Life shown on the Norman Rockwell Saturday Evening Post covers.

4 posted on 02/10/2026 1:13:37 PM PST by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: DFG

They need that Omar gal who married her brother to give seminars...

“How to go from flat broke to a net worth of 40 million dollars in just 6 years!”


5 posted on 02/10/2026 1:21:18 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Import the third world. Become the second world.)
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To: DFG

Totally messed with my mind.

The Bee strikes again!


6 posted on 02/10/2026 1:22:47 PM PST by Uncle Miltie (No American Blood for censorious socialist islamophiles!)
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To: DFG
The BEE is wrong here. If billions have disappeared, some one is committing fraud at a higher than grade school level.
7 posted on 02/10/2026 1:33:15 PM PST by Pearls Before Swine
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To: Uncle Miltie

“””Totally messed with my mind.

The Bee strikes again!”””

It is actually quite close to the truth. A few years ago I was at a McDonalds in Minneapolistan. A bunch of Somali yutes were at a few tables by us. They weren’t talking about sports, chicks or anything normal high schoolers talk about. They were sharing tips on how to get free phones and other stuff through Medicare and other sources.


8 posted on 02/10/2026 1:35:03 PM PST by shelterguy
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To: DFG
Somalis have the fraud grift down by 5th grade?

This is what we are teaching them. These kids are swimming in a sea of criminality, fraud and corruption. from the day they are born. It's the Somali lifestyle in the US .

9 posted on 02/10/2026 1:35:12 PM PST by rdcbn1 (..when poets buy guns, tourist season is over................Walter R. Mead)
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To: DFG

The only way to correct the behavior is to enforce discipline.


10 posted on 02/10/2026 2:10:43 PM PST by Dacula (Jesus is the only true savior. I reject satan and his pedophile fake prophet.)
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To: DFG

—Another failure of gov’t schools! 🤣


11 posted on 02/10/2026 2:12:46 PM PST by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: DFG

Stung by the Bee!


12 posted on 02/10/2026 2:17:28 PM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: mrmeyer

“Diversity is our greatest strength” is a statement taken wholly from thin air. Those who say it never offer any proof or historical precedent to show that it’s true. They just make that assertion that everyone must (!) believe or else you’re racist (!).

Of course, it is now obvious to any sentient being that the idea is absurd.

So I don’t think that you need to use the sarcasm symbol (/s) when you quote the phrase. Everyone already knows it’s ludicrous.


13 posted on 02/10/2026 2:21:03 PM PST by pelican001
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To: DFG

Clearly not learing as they should.


14 posted on 02/10/2026 5:50:46 PM PST by FlyingEagle
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To: FlyingEagle

True.


15 posted on 02/10/2026 5:53:02 PM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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