Posted on 01/27/2026 11:11:26 AM PST by DFG
Things in America are getting pretty dicey these days. So dicey, in fact, that people in blue states are starting to wonder if it's time to evacuate to the safety of more politically conservative places. Knowing when to get out of Dodge is vital.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of clear signs that it's time to move to a red state:
1. The neighbors ate your pets: Your dog and your cat.
2. There are tampons in the men's restrooms: Something doesn't seem right.
3. There are no plans to build a Buc-ee's in your state: A clear sign there's no hope where you are.
4. The same crackhead on the bus stabbed you for the 6th time this month: Even though you specifically asked him to stop after the 5th time.
5. The 12th "Learing Center" in town just opened up down the street: Doesn't feel like there's enough demand for that many.
6. You're facing felony charges for possessing a gas-powered lawnmower: They're really serious about climate change.
7. Your grocery store only sells bananas and rice: It's not like that's all anyone around you eats, it just all anyone around you eats.
8. State taxes are 103% of your income: Seems a bit high.
9. You need subtitles to understand your elected officials' speeches: What language is that, anyway?
10. You are not L, G, B, T, nor Q: You don't belong here.
11. Your breakfast is ruined by the Islamic call to prayer every morning: It's hard to enjoy a bowl of Lucky Charms with all that racket.
12. You're an American: Obviously in the minority.
If you've noticed any of the things listed above happening where you live, it's time to head for greener (redder?) pastures. What are some other signs someone needs to move to a red state? Add your ideas in the comments.
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Good one.
Sure, move to Florida.
It’s is the lightning strike state capital of the US......there are sharks, water moccasins, rattle snakes, sinkholes, rip currents, giant roaches, the state bird is the mosquitoe, hurricanes and the tornadoes that hurricanes spawn, and the latest....MALARIA....
And let’s not forget the Senior drivers....AND alligators.
this is just the SHORT LIST!
The map is from 2020.
Try to stay in the swing states.
The ones on this map blue, but red in 2024 map.
Like AZ, NV, PA, WI, MI, GA
We need you.
Gee I wish I could say the same about my state. About the only thing bad I can say about my state is that it’s boring.
Not only alligators, but Crocodiles too.
Minnesota used to be boring.
They need to build a wall around Minnesota and cede it to Canada.
“About the only thing bad I can say about my state is that it’s boring.”
May not stay that way long at the rate Idaho getting Californicated.
“And let’s not forget the Senior drivers....”
***********
Some truth to that but its really an all-ages problem. I drive very defensively when I’m in Florida.
They left out the most important one. Once you have destroyed your own state by voting in liberals it’s time to bail and move to a nice red state where you and all of your ilk can vote in liberals and destroy it too.
“May not stay that way long at the rate Idaho getting Californicated.”
************
Many people like the idea of getting something for nothing and being told that you’re never responsible for anything. Its an easy sale for leftist politicians everywhere. Personal responsibility is a much tougher thing to sell.
I love Idaho. I had a great deal in Sandpoint. But yeah. Californicators invaded en masse. The worst thing about the kung flu lock downs is the gay area Californicators we’re allowed to work remote. They bought every scrap of land and house cash pushing out the locals. There is only so much a salad dressing company can pay.
They’re not too far off.
I’m not finding much comedic value in the takeover of the USA these days.
Trump got 2/3 of the vote here. There’s a new batch of brainwashed libs coming out of Boise State every year, but most of them move to Blue States after graduation. Most of the California refugees are very conservative. I expect some libs to come in as Micron expands, but I think we are going to stay Red for a long time. There’s no nightlife and abortions are illegal.
Better yet, trade minnesota for Alberta. Lakes for oil and dinosaur bones.
As a twenty-year resident of South Florida, I can tell you
that the prejudice against Senior Drivers is often well-
deserved. However, they are more of a nuisance than a problem.
What is a problem is when you combine Senior Drivers, young
Latino drivers in their boy-racer cars, and the fast lane of
I-95.
Resolving the conflict between these two groups is often spectacular.
Don't.
Stay where you are with all the wonderful cultural opportunities, lovely art, quaint foods and colorful people that you love so much.
Out here there are only strip malls and people who actually believe in God. You want a state sponsored religion like leftism to soothe your soul. What will you do without a 400 ingredient drink to sip while you babble about the latest play with the sodomite necrophilia bestiality hero that you forced prepubescent children to watch?
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