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Swalwell Vows to Punish ICE Officers [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 January 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/05/2026 9:23:09 AM PST by John Semmens

Gubernatorial candidate Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) went on MSNOW's All In program and called outgoing Gov. Gavin Newsom "a pansy for neglecting to use the full powers available to curb ICE enforcement activities in our state. You have immense powers as governor of California and it's your responsibility to protect the most vulnerable in the state. So if the president is going to send ICE agents to chase immigrants, what I'm going to do is make sure that they take off their masks and show their faces, that they show their identification. And if they commit crimes that they're going to be charged with crimes, if it's falsely imprisoning people, if it's kidnapping, if it's assault & battery, they're going to be held accountable."

"I also think the governor could preempt ICE crimes by revoking their driver's licenses," he added. "If you're going to wear a mask and not identify yourself, you're not going to be eligible to drive a vehicle in California. We could also proactively revoke their right to vote or own property. This would provide them an incentive to choose a different occupation. I've read that lots of immigrants in Minnesota have been successful opening federally funded daycare centers and soup kitchens. Perhaps ICE officers could shift to this or other more constructive occupations rather than rousting innocent folks for wanting to live in America."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: daycare; illegals; newsom; satire

1 posted on 01/05/2026 9:23:09 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

What’s he going to do? Fart in their general direction?


2 posted on 01/05/2026 9:24:49 AM PST by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: John Semmens

Can we just punish Agent Smith swalwell instead?!


3 posted on 01/05/2026 9:25:51 AM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )
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To: John Semmens

He is such a pantywaste


4 posted on 01/05/2026 9:28:19 AM PST by llevrok (“'Remember when' is the lowest form of conversation.” - Tony Soprano)
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To: John Semmens

He thinks he’s the President.


5 posted on 01/05/2026 9:32:54 AM PST by Carry_Okie (The tree of liberty needs a rope.)
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To: John Semmens

They always tell us what they are gonna do, and they do it. After what they did to Jan 6 people and trump and trumps lawyers, I have no doubt the dems will go after everyone they can. It’s why I’m pissed that we aren’t making the left miserable by dragging huge numbers of them to court. At the very least make them spend millions defending themselves.


6 posted on 01/05/2026 9:40:39 AM PST by hillarys cankles
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To: John Semmens; All

I’d send US Marshals and arrest the bastard. Handcuff him, and kick his ass down a flight of stairs.


7 posted on 01/05/2026 9:40:41 AM PST by Cobra64 (ECommon sense isn’t common anymore. )
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To: hillarys cankles

+1


8 posted on 01/05/2026 9:52:16 AM PST by iamgalt
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To: John Semmens

punish how? By locking them in a small room with him and farting?


9 posted on 01/05/2026 10:02:55 AM PST by Bob434 (Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana)
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To: John Semmens

Swallowswell should go and do just that. He really really should.


10 posted on 01/05/2026 10:04:03 AM PST by rktman (Destroy America from within? On hold! Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. 🚫💉! 🇮🇱🙏! Winning currently!)
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To: John Semmens

Buy him another spy whore


11 posted on 01/05/2026 10:05:37 AM PST by Singermom
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To: John Semmens

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA)

Fang Fang
grabbed his Wang Wang
And he did Bang Bang
And then he Sang Sang

From traitor to super patriot? ... I doubt it


12 posted on 01/05/2026 10:08:24 AM PST by antidemoncrat
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To: John Semmens

we want hearings and full disclosure on Swallowell’s Honeypot Fang Fang, Feinstein’s driver for 20 years, and Pelosi’s business and investment contacts with China.

Chinese spy in Hochul, Cuomo administrations .... https://www.politico.com/newsletters/new-york-playbook-pm/2024/09/03/linda-sun-indictment-arrest-china-chinese-hochul-cuomo-spy-00177195


13 posted on 01/05/2026 10:34:35 AM PST by tired&retired (Blessings )
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To: John Semmens

They need to arrest the traitor scumbag.


14 posted on 01/05/2026 10:47:21 AM PST by wetgundog
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To: John Semmens
I've read that lots of immigrants in Minnesota have been successful opening federally funded daycare centers and soup kitchens.

Really? That's the way they're trying to rehabilitate that story? Swalwell really is a tone-deaf bastard.

15 posted on 01/05/2026 10:51:19 AM PST by Rinnwald
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To: Cobra64

A FLIGHT OF STAIRS?????

HOW ABOUT OFF THE 60TH FLOOR OF A HIGH RISE-—THE OUTSIDE PART.


16 posted on 01/05/2026 11:11:26 AM PST by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: John Semmens

Prepare Swalwell’s cell.


17 posted on 01/05/2026 11:16:56 AM PST by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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To: John Semmens

Well we know whats going to be Swalwell’s last voluntary act will be as a free person.


18 posted on 01/05/2026 12:05:32 PM PST by Vaduz (?.)
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To: ridesthemiles

Naaa, I want him to suffer, not die, at least not that easily.


19 posted on 01/05/2026 1:12:11 PM PST by Cobra64 (ECommon sense isn’t common anymore. )
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To: John Semmens

Someone needs to take him aside and explain the supremacy clause of the Constitution. Ensuring they speak slowly, use small words, etc. to ensure understanding by him.


20 posted on 01/05/2026 2:43:52 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet (Trump has arrived and it is awesome to have a real President.)
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