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Penniless Refugees Become Millionaires [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 January 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/02/2026 3:02:50 PM PST by John Semmens

As accusations of day care fraud swirl around in Minnesota two strong voices came out swinging at the accusers. Gov. Tim Walz (D) said "what we're all seeing here is racism, pure and simple. Republicans are always harping about how immigrants need to be self-supporting so as not to be a burden on American taxpayers. Now they are complaining that formerly penniless refugees from Somalia have gone from rags to riches in the daycare industry. Why is it that when persons of color get ahead whites insinuate that it must be by illicit methods?"

"I think we ought to celebrate the few who have miraculously made daycare management into multi-million dollar businesses," Walz continued. "I am proud to say that I helped them make the needed connections to get started using federal aid payments to build these businesses. Just take one of them as an example. The Quality Learing Center on Nicollet Avenue has been caring for, teaching, and feeding millions of under-privileged kids every year. It shouldn't be surprising that the owners have gotten rich. Now that they are I wouldn't be surprised to see them become Republicans. That's how selfless I am."

Former President Joe Biden pointed out that "I was the one who welcomed the Somalis to this country. I was the one who authorized billions in federal funds to be paid for the valuable services they are providing to the desperately needy two million Somali children these daycare centers serve on a daily basis. These are the kind of folks that make America the economic dynamo that is revered by our friends and feared by our adversaries all over the world."

"The big fuss being made about the misspelling of one of the daycare center's name is a minor glitch in an otherwise great enterprise," Biden insisted. "Obviously, it should've been the Quality Leering Center. I'm pleased to say that I'm a graduate. When I left office last January I enrolled. With credit given for my life experience I was able to complete the curriculum without attending a single session. Afterward, I did a promo in my cap and gown for my usual 10% cut of the gross revenues. Gov. Walz also did a promo, but only got a 5% cut because he's just a governor."

Josh Gerstein, Politico's Senior Legal Affairs Reporter warned Nick Shirley, the citizen journalist who helped expose the absence of children at the Learing Center, that "at some point, the amateur effort to knock on doors of daycare centers intersects with robust stand-your-ground laws. Your next knock could be your last if the response from inside is a shotgun blast through the front door. Knowing the leftist bent of Minnesota's judges your death will likely be ruled justifiable homicide."

Meanwhile in the state of Washington, Attorney General Nick Brown (D) warned citizen-journalists "to stop investigating Somali-run daycare facilities or face hate-crime charges. Under our laws, Somalis are a protected racial group. Any harassment of their businesses will be met with the most severe penalties we can impose." Harmeet Dhillon, US Assistant Attorney General for Civil rights, issued a warning of her own, saying "ANY state official who chills or threatens to chill a journalist's First Amendment rights is violating 18 USC ยง 242 and will face serious consequences."


TOPICS: Education; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: biden; citizenjournalists; minnesota; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion; somalis; threats; walz

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1 posted on 01/02/2026 3:02:50 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I hope the DOJ is investigating that Tampon licking criminal, Walz.


2 posted on 01/02/2026 3:04:55 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Kilmar the Abrego Kid has kicked Uncle Sam's ass with the help of his Judgette Skanks gang. )
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 01/02/2026 3:06:17 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Rhetorical question: Could the DOJ be overwhelmed by the amount of crime being exposed?

Somali fraud, Doge fraud, ActBlue fraud...


4 posted on 01/02/2026 3:08:48 PM PST by Mr. N. Wolfe
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To: Mr. N. Wolfe

Yes, remember it’s legal staff has been cut by 50% since Trump took office. (Yes we voted for that!)


5 posted on 01/02/2026 3:12:53 PM PST by Reily
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To: Mr. N. Wolfe
No. It is a matter of will. Under Biden there was no will.

Somalians are mud people, from a land of dirt and hovels. Staging a break-in and stealing documents won't matter. Once the forensic accounts get a taste, they will not let go. Good forensic accounts are like Columbo on steroids. You aren't going to beat them. Finances are more connected than anyone imagine. A good forensic accountant can take a receipt from McDonalds; starting from there they can unravel and illicit financial empire.

6 posted on 01/02/2026 3:14:17 PM PST by Governor Dinwiddie ( O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is gracious, and his mercy endures forever. โ€” Psalm 106)
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To: John Semmens

“Now they are complaining that formerly penniless refugees from Somalia have gone from rags to riches in the daycare industry.”

Just how many actual children are there in Minneapolis that require daycare?


7 posted on 01/02/2026 3:23:20 PM PST by LastDayz (A Blunt and Brazen Texan. I Will Not Be Assimilated.)
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To: LastDayz

I wonder how many people took their children to daycare when they didnโ€™t even work outside the home


8 posted on 01/02/2026 3:24:50 PM PST by Freee-dame (The left never dreamed that Trump would be back in the White House in 2025. )
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To: John Semmens

This sounds like something The Bee would write.


9 posted on 01/02/2026 3:29:13 PM PST by KittyKares
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To: FlingWingFlyer

Reading this makes want to puke!


10 posted on 01/02/2026 3:47:45 PM PST by shadeaud (God gave us the free will and intelligence to choose right from wrong. Use it or lose it!D)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

Reading this makes want to puke!


11 posted on 01/02/2026 3:48:02 PM PST by shadeaud (God gave us the free will and intelligence to choose right from wrong. Use it or lose it!D)
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To: John Semmens

๐Ÿ‘


12 posted on 01/02/2026 5:16:52 PM PST by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy - EVs a solution for which there is no problem)
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To: John Semmens

Man. And to think the IRS is hammering them over taxes, too, I betcha. ๐Ÿ™„


13 posted on 01/02/2026 5:21:40 PM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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