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Healthcare Providers Required to Tout Abortion [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 December 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/26/2025 3:02:23 PM PST by John Semmens

Citing the global threat of overpopulation, Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill) and the Democrat majority in the state legislature passed a law requiring all healthcare providers, including those who have ethical or religious objections, to tout the public benefits of abortion.

Pritzker justified this compelled speech by asserting that "unconstrained population growth poses a severe threat to public health. We cannot allow zealots who hope to use the innocence of the unborn to divert us from taking the essential actions needed to avert the inevitable famine that will result from the careless creation of more mouths to feed. Hundreds of folks like myself could go hungry."

The Governor rebuffed claims that this legislation violates the First Amendment, by saying "the text of the document says 'Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech.' This law wasn't passed by Congress. It was passed by our state legislature. It does not abridge freedom of speech. It merely enacts a duty to take action to speak on behalf of the need to use our most potent measure for preventing a future famine."

"Second, the Tenth Amendment says 'powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people,'" he pointed out. "There is nothing in the Constitution prohibiting our state from expanding the public health responsibilities of those licensed to practice medicine in Illinois."

President Trump warned "we can't make America great again by murdering our children. This clearly violates their natural right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. A state government law forcing doctors and nurses to advocate for such barbarism is worse than abridging freedom of speech and logically must also be forbidden by our First Amendment."

Pritzker dared Trump "to sue us" and predicted that "the court will have no choice but to agree that we have found the perfect loophole in the Bill of Rights. Every 'blue state' will turn every state-licensed profession into an advocate for progressive policies. In addition to healthcare workers this will include lawyers, teachers, plumbers, barbers, and real estate agents."


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: firstamendment; postandrun; pritzker; satire; selfpromotion; trump

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1 posted on 12/26/2025 3:02:23 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 12/26/2025 3:03:18 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill) ... "Hundreds of folks like myself could go hungry."

Pritzker will never go hungry. Never.

3 posted on 12/26/2025 3:32:35 PM PST by magooey (The Mandate of Heaven resides in the hearts of men.)
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To: John Semmens
From the article: ...global threat of overpopulation, Gov. JB Pritzker (D-Ill) and the Democrat majority in the state legislature...

How can anyone who even believes in global overpopulation think that the state of Illinois can impact it. Illinois already has a low fertility rate of 50.4 per 1,000 women aged 15-44.

4 posted on 12/26/2025 3:41:18 PM PST by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: John Semmens

That fat ass worrying about world hunger is like Bill Clinton worrying about the virtue of young women and their impact on the sanctity of marriage. I also don’t think lard bucket Pritzker actually knows what the word zealot means.


5 posted on 12/26/2025 4:28:04 PM PST by your other brother
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To: John Semmens

This is bizarre. I thought we were supposed to welcome illegal immigrants because we don’t have enough workers. And social security will go broke because we will have more elderly than workers to support them. Now we are supposed to worry about overpopulation?


6 posted on 12/26/2025 4:31:34 PM PST by KittyKares
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To: John Semmens

“Hundreds of folks like myself could go hungry.” Based on your photo J.B., I don’t think that would be a bad thing for you for a few weeks.


7 posted on 12/26/2025 4:32:15 PM PST by kawhill (And the sea will bring each man new hope as sleep brings dreams of home. C.C.)
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To: Tell It Right

The “article” is satire...


8 posted on 12/26/2025 5:22:36 PM PST by Republican Wildcat
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To: John Semmens

bkmk


9 posted on 12/26/2025 6:28:00 PM PST by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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To: John Semmens

Abortion is almost never a lifesaving medical procedure.


10 posted on 12/26/2025 6:29:43 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> --- )
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