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"I Am Not a Secret Nazi" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 26 October 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/25/2025 11:10:49 AM PDT by John Semmens

Candidate for the Democrat nomination for US Senator from Maine Graham Platner's Nazi SS tattoo has stirred up some controversy. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt), who has endorsed Platner, urged voters "to not fall victim to those who would unfairly judge this solid fighter for socialism. Remember, Nazi is short for National Socialist German Workers' Party. While Hitler took a wrong turn when he reneged on his deal with Stalin to carve up the smaller nations of eastern Europe between them during World War II, his previous program of socialist investment in German factories helped rescue the country from the Great Depression by providing the working class with jobs."

Platner himself asserted "I am not a secret Nazi. If I were a secret Nazi I wouldn't have a Nazi tattoo. I would have studiously avoided such a telltale symbol used by Nazi concentration camp guards. I got the Totenkopf skull and crossbones tattoo because I thought it was cool artwork that would make me appear tough. I never bothered to consider what sort of symbolism it might represent."

Genevieve McDonald, Platner's political director before she resigned after learning of his Nazi tattoo, said she "doubted Platner's claim to be an innocent admirer of the artwork. He is a big history buff and cannot credibly maintain he was ignorant of the Totenkopf's significance to the Nazi perpetrators of the Holocaust."

Desperate to dilute the impact of his tattoo, Platner pointed out that "I went to the same elite Hotchkiss School that was attended by such great Americans as former Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart, former CIA director Porter Goss, Clinton family adviser Strobe Talbott, and veteran newsman Chris Wallace. My mother even hired a seamstress to sew me a uniform so I could participate in Civil War reenactments while I was in high school. The Nazis were street-brawling homosexuals before they became mass murderers. I am nothing like them."

In a bid to quell criticism, Platner announced that he has had the tattoo redone to show wolves devouring sheep, saying "this should finally show folks that I'm not really a Nazi. It's the Republicans who are the real Nazis tearing down our democracy. If I am elected to the Senate I pledge to use every weapon available to defeat them."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: brawlinghomosexuals; maine; sanders; satire; sstattoo

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1 posted on 10/25/2025 11:10:50 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

He got a tattoo to look like a “bad-ass”.

‘Kay.

Already failed the ‘judgement’ test - next!


2 posted on 10/25/2025 11:22:32 AM PDT by larrytown (A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do. Then they graduate...)
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To: John Semmens

Well done.

I’m not familiar with the person who is the subject of this satire article to know the difference between fact or fiction so I can’t do any other critique.

Keep on writin’, John. I always read your posts.


3 posted on 10/25/2025 11:34:30 AM PDT by UCANSEE2 (Sailing the Sea of Ignorance on a Ship named Free Republic)
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To: John Semmens

That’s Graham “Maine Kampf” Platner henceforth.

Thank you for your attention to this matter!


4 posted on 10/25/2025 11:47:28 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: UCANSEE2

He’s a Democrat running for the Maine senate seat now held by “Republican” Susan Collins. He has the SS death head tattooed on his chest. He actually said “I am not a secret Nazi.”

I helped flesh out some of the other details.


5 posted on 10/25/2025 12:24:56 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Is this the guy who overused the word “carousing” talking about when he got the tattoo? I saw this on Gutfeld and I don’t trust him at all—but then he’s a dem so…


6 posted on 10/25/2025 2:01:47 PM PDT by mikey_hates_everything
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To: larrytown

A lot of young servicemen walk that badass/dumbass line. Tatts are a permanent reminder of temporary lapses of judgement, IMO.


7 posted on 10/25/2025 2:21:42 PM PDT by gundog (The ends justify the mean tweets. )
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To: UCANSEE2
Per Wikipedia:

He earned the "most likely to start a revolution" yearbook superlative as a senior at John Bapst in 2003,

8 posted on 10/25/2025 3:39:43 PM PDT by gundog (The ends justify the mean tweets. )
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To: John Semmens

Thanks.


9 posted on 10/25/2025 3:41:16 PM PDT by UCANSEE2 (Sailing the Sea of Ignorance on a Ship named Free Republic)
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