California Fines Family For Building Sandcastle Without Coastal Commission Approval

Babylon Bee ^ | 08/22/2025 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

OCEANSIDE, CA — A family's beach trip ended in disaster after they were cited by a state official for building a sand castle together without prior authorization from the California Coastal Commission.

Witnesses said that the Wilson family had just put the finishing touches on a cool little sand castle when an officer approached to notify them that his department had received a complaint from the California Coastal Commission.

According to sources, the officer first approached the eight-year-old Wilson boy to question him about having the proper permits. "Hey, that's a cool sand castle, kid," the officer reportedly said as he knelt down to inspect its construction. "You got a permit for that?"

Jay Wilson intervened, explaining he was the boy's father and that they had built the castle together with a bucket. The family was later fined $1,000 for building a sand castle without the express written approval of the Coastal Commission.

"I've never heard of the Coastal Commission," Wilson said. "And I certainly didn't know having my kid build a sand castle constituted a child labor violation."

Though some state officials have promised to take another look at the laws behind the incident, Governor Gavin Newsom defended the Coastal Commission. "If we let just anyone build a sand castle, how can we possibly enforce proper tax code?" Newsom said. "No one is above the law. Sand castle law."

At publishing time, the Wilson family had to pay an additional $750 fee to have the sand castle demolished by a county worker who had to travel to the beach to stomp on it.

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

You know things are bad when you see a headline like this and you start chanting, “please be the bee, please be the bee, please be the bee”. Because the chance that it isn’t is way past 70%.

[Tell It Right]

Agreed. The Bee has an understanding that Rush pointed out many times: “The best humor always has an element of truth.”

[sjmjax]

It truly is alarming when you see an article headline like this and can’t be sure if it is true or a BB satire.

Especially, regarding anything associated with California!

[Sacajaweau]

My daughter killed a squirrel as we drove to a museum. She started to cry as we got to the museum...and cried and cried and cried.

The next day, I called her from work and said someone reported her for killing a squirrel and just kept on going instead of reporting it.

I could tell she was pretty upset...and then Officer Bianco said there was a $50 fine......What?? she said....that's ridiculous. I could hear the fight in her voice...and said...Casey...Casey....it's me mom....it's okay...And she slammed down the phone.

No she didn't forgive me...she retaliated about two weeks later with a call to me from the IRS...lol

[ansel12]

Thanks to the Coastal Commission I got to live in a shack on the beach for many, many, many years, for next to nothing, the owners of the land couldn’t get through the agency to use the lot, today I’m not there and there is a 5 million dollar house on it, it is a nice house though.

[BenLurkin]

Very close to the truth.

[Mark]

No shots were fired?

[cp124]

There is no reason ever to visit Communist California.

[Telepathic Intruder]

That innocent looking sandcastle is upsetting the delicate beach ecosystem. They should also be fined for any sand removed from the beach that sticks to their shoes.

[metmom]

For sure.

[MAGA2017]

This feels very plausible.

[bunkerhill7]

It’s also against the law to remove a spoonful of black sand from Stinson Beach.