Gov Objects to ICE Raid on Marijuana Farm [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 July 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

A very irate Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) strenuously objected to an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) raid on the Glass House Farms in Camarillo. saying "this invasion by an uninvited federal agency is wrong in so many ways. First, California is a sanctuary state. We love our immigrants and don't want them taken away. Second, California was once a part of Mexico before it was stolen in 1848. Third, Graham Farrar, the co-founder, president, and board director of Glass House Farms, has donated thousands to Democrats in California. He deserves better treatment. Fourth, this raid forced me to cut my 2028 presidential campaign stop in South Carolina short and, as such, unduly interferes with my right to run for office."

Customs and Border Protection Commissioner Rodney Scott dismissed Newsom's objections, saying "none of his complaints have any legal standing. Individuals who enter the country without permission are here illegally. That is the law. No state or city has the authority to interfere with our enforcement of that law. If the Governor wants to change this law he needs to persuade Congress to change it. In this regard, his campaign trip to South Carolina is a legitimate step in that direction. Interrupting that trip to make a futile complaint against the enforcement of the current law against illegally entering the country actually argues against his fitness for the office he says he is aspiring to be elected to."

Stephen Miller, White House deputy chief of staff for policy, pointed out that "the protesters of the ICE raid at Glass House Farms that had to be fended off with teargas were waving Mexican flags. I think attempting to impede law enforcement under the flag of a foreign country demonstrates that these particular illegal immigrants are a predatory incursion on American soil and triggers the deportation powers granted by the 1798 Alien Enemies Act."

In related news, during the presidential campaign the New York Times dismissed the claim that members of the violent Venezuelan Tren de Aragua gang were terrorizing folks in Aurora, Colorado, calling it a "conspiracy theory." Now the NYT admits that "the claims were true. We blame Democrat politicians for falsely asserting that Aurora residents and Republicans were merely 'crying wolf.' While this one example of our assuming that everything Trump says is a lie wasn't true, we still believe that in the vast majority of cases it is a good starting premise for our reporting and editorials."

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TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: alienenemies; newsom; satire; trendearagua

[maddog55]

So California sends out RSVP raid request? Who knew.

[Carry_Okie]

"Second, California was once a part of Mexico before it was stolen in 1848."

If there was such a thing as an impeachable offense in a governor, this should qualify. It is certainly treasonous.

There is no part of the California Del Norte of 1848 that wanted to be part of Mexico. Most considered themselves Spanish.

[Tell It Right]

Some of us FReepers haven't forgotten.

[Vaduz]

Changing times isn’t always for the best note Rome.

Would like more lead in your wine for that extera kick.

[pookie18]

Thanks, Tell It Right!

[FlingWingFlyer]

When is Carbajal’s wetback *** going to prison? The boy is a lyin ass criminal. Get him out of my America. He is not an American. He’s a treasonous MESSICAN endangering the lives of American Civil Servants. Write your Congressman and Senators. Carbajal has got to go. He should be cleaning toilets on the other side of the Rio Grande.