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Trump Responds To Mostly Peaceful Protests With Mostly Peaceful Military
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/09/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/09/2025 12:31:38 PM PDT by DFG

LOS ANGELES, CA — According to sources, President Trump responded to fiery but mostly peaceful protests in the City of Angels by activating the mostly peaceful National Guard.

Governor Gavin Newsom has called the show of mostly peaceful force by the Trump administration "uncool."

"What we have are mostly peaceful migrants making their voices mostly peacefully heard by throwing Molotov cocktails and looting businesses," Newsom said. "All of which is protected by the Bill of Rights. Read the Constitution."

But the situation on the ground hadn't improved much as of Monday morning. Now, a battalion of 500 mostly peaceful Marines is reportedly on standby, preparing to enter California and retake the state from mostly peaceful arsonists and looters, joining the 2,000 mostly peaceful National Guard already deployed on the ground.

Trump said, "Maybe the National Guard isn't mostly peaceful enough. Maybe it's time to send in the mostliest peaceful of them all: the United States Marines."

Governor Gavin Newsom has responded to Trump's threat of additional mostly peaceful troops by threatening to sue, per California tradition. "If he doesn't end this mostly peaceful tyranny, I may be forced to get violent in court," he said.

Mostly peaceful war correspondents on the ground blasted Trump for wanting to send in the military, but later calmed down when he explained they were mostly peaceful, just like the violent rioters who deface the land they don't want to be deported from.

"Killing is only 13% of what a Marine does," Trump said. "The other 87% of a Marine's time is spent doing horribly unspeakable things as well, but not killing.

At publishing time, California had been declared a mostly peaceful war zone.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; mostliestpeaceful; piecederesistance; satire

1 posted on 06/09/2025 12:31:38 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Perfect!


2 posted on 06/09/2025 12:32:21 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Democrats are the Party of anger, hate and violence.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

The President should say this. 😃


3 posted on 06/09/2025 12:34:52 PM PDT by madison10
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To: DFG

The Bee once again steps across the fine line from satire to reality.

On a serious note, all these thugs understand is a sharp rap in the mouth....they’re a lot like muslim terrorists that way.


4 posted on 06/09/2025 12:37:14 PM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: DFG
"Killing is only 13% of what a Marine does," Trump said. "The other 87% of a Marine's time is spent doing horribly unspeakable things as well, but not killing.

You do not want to see what a Marine Spoon can do.

Nightmares for the rest of your life.

5 posted on 06/09/2025 12:41:32 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear ( Not my circus. Not my monkeys. But I can pick out the clowns at 100 yards.)
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To: DFG

Heh, heh. Good one.The illegals being arrested engaged in mostly peaceful child molestation, mostly peaceful rape, mostly peaceful murder, mostly peaceful human trafficking....


6 posted on 06/09/2025 12:44:17 PM PDT by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: All

Good-hair Gov Gavin called the show of mostly peaceful force by the Trump administration “uncool.”

“What we have are mostly peaceful migrants making their voices mostly peacefully heard by throwing peaceful Molotov cocktails and peacefully looting businesses,” Newsom said.

“All of which is protected by the Bill of Rights. Read the Constitution.”


Shocker. Who knew the boy even knew we have a Constitution?


7 posted on 06/09/2025 12:48:44 PM PDT by Liz (This then is how we should pray...."Our Father, who art in heaven......" )
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To: DFG

Drat, you beat me!


8 posted on 06/09/2025 12:53:37 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (President Trump Decisively Won Popular & E.C., Celebrate Recivilization!)
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To: DFG

Looks like to me the military and the cops have been mostly peaceful.


9 posted on 06/09/2025 1:00:13 PM PDT by Midwesterner53
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To: DFG

GREAT response!


10 posted on 06/09/2025 1:07:03 PM PDT by metmom ( He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”)
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To: DFG
making their voices mostly peacefully heard by throwing Molotov cocktails

Imagine you have two major accomplishments in your life, the first being reasonably successful diplomacy in a very difficult period in Russo-European hustory, and the second being the ability to stay alive during the Stalinist era. But does anyone remember you for this? No, they remember you only because of a cocktail, which isn't even a cocktail, and which you didn't concoct anyway (it was invented during the Spanish Civil War).

11 posted on 06/09/2025 1:07:41 PM PDT by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: DFG

Maybe the mostly peaceful National Guard or Marines can gently spray the mostly peaceful protesters with some mostly peaceful Liquid Ass.


12 posted on 06/09/2025 1:07:50 PM PDT by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." The Weapons Shops of Isher)
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To: DFG

Respond with mostly peaceful rubber bullets, calming and soothing tear gas and a gentle scalp massage with a wooden baton.


13 posted on 06/09/2025 1:08:37 PM PDT by sjmjax
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To: Midwesterner53
Looks like to me the military and the cops have been mostly peaceful.

Since the cops aren't doing anything, that's dead on.

14 posted on 06/09/2025 1:09:07 PM PDT by metmom ( He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.”)
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To: metmom
"...the mostliest peaceful of them all: the United States Marines."

Although it's TheBee, I can imagine PDJT saying that to a woke reporter.

15 posted on 06/09/2025 1:10:32 PM PDT by newfreep ("There is no race problem...just a problem race")
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To: DFG

If it hasn’t been reported by the Bee, it hasn’t really happened.


16 posted on 06/09/2025 2:05:28 PM PDT by The_Harlequin (…the time will arrive when you will learn to judge for yourself of what is going on in the world, wi)
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To: madison10

I guess if this kind of tyranny is “mostly peaceful”, then what the president prescribes to resolve it can be described as “mostly peaceful” too. Governor Newsom can whine about it all he wants. Somebody needs to take Newsom “out behind the barn”.


17 posted on 06/09/2025 2:26:35 PM PDT by oldtech
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