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2028 Dem Presidential Contender Tests Waters [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | John Semmens

Posted on 05/04/2025 10:27:39 AM PDT by John Semmens

Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker told an audience of Democrats in New Hampshire "it's time to fight everywhere and all at once. Never before in my life have I called for mass protests, for mobilization, for disruption. But I am now. These Republicans cannot know a moment of peace."

The group of Democratic activists, officials and donors jumped to their feet with hoots and applause. They shouted out questions and ideas on how they might turn voters against Trump and other Republicans. "Should we block rush hour traffic? Should we help MS-13 gangsters elude ICE arrest? Should we firebomb Tesla dealerships? Should we call for Republicans to be killed like that Maine teacher did?"

"All of those ideas are great," Pritzker said. "We should do all of them and many more. The key will be to make voters feel that the only way they could ever again have a peaceful day in their lives is for them to vote against Trump and the Republicans who support him. So, basically anything goes."

Pritzker contrasted himself "to that California phony Gov. Gavin Newsom. Sure he's glib and handsome, but has he got what it takes to show his toughness? I once removed all the toilets from one of my mansions in order to avoid paying property taxes. Yes, it was annoying to have to hand-carry buckets of shit outside every night and toss the contents over the property line, but I saved millions. This is the kind of outside-the-box leadership we'll be needing in the lean years to come. I've got it. Newsom doesn't."

"Look, the key to defeating the Republicans in the 2020 election was the George Floyd rioting that disrupted the civic peace during the last year of Trump's first term as president," Pritzker insisted. "We need to recreate that kind of environment. We need to be willing to get our hands dirty, burn down some buildings, and crack a few heads. The stakes are too high for us to not go all out to win."

Newsom scoffed at Pritzker's contention that "he is the man to create the needed chaos and fear. Has everyone forgotten that I forged the policies that resulted in half of California burning down? Besides, it's been more than a century since a fat man was elected president. My movie star looks will win more votes than his rotundity."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: newsom; postandrun; pritzker; rotund; satire; selfpromotion

1 posted on 05/04/2025 10:27:39 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

BOYCOTT EVERYTHING HYATT


2 posted on 05/04/2025 10:48:09 AM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: John Semmens

RE: Testing waters....

Impulsively stole a kiss on the lips from Maxine. 💋


3 posted on 05/04/2025 10:48:35 AM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls. )
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To: John Semmens

Why is this not a call for insurrection???


4 posted on 05/04/2025 10:55:02 AM PDT by volare737 (Diversity is something to be overcome, not celebrated.)
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To: John Semmens
"Should we block rush hour traffic? Should we help MS-13 gangsters elude ICE arrest? Should we firebomb Tesla dealerships?"

The fact that these questions are even being asked begs the question: "Are Democrats out to help American citizens live a better life, or are they about Democrats having power?" Democrats couldn't care less about the average American citizen. Instead, they want to control them to their own ends.

5 posted on 05/04/2025 11:06:13 AM PDT by econjack
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To: John Semmens

I’m sure Prizker made a huge splash.


6 posted on 05/04/2025 11:31:04 AM PDT by cowboyusa
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To: John Semmens

Sounds like voter intimidation!


7 posted on 05/04/2025 11:52:35 AM PDT by AZJeep (sane )
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To: All

Newsom scoffed at Pritzker’s contention that “he is the man to create the needed chaos and fear. “

“Has everyone forgotten that I’m the one who cleverly forged
the policies that resulted in half of California burning down?”

“Besides, it’s been more than a century since a fat man was elected president.
My movie star looks, slim waist, and nice hair will win more votes than his flabiness.”

“And I’m not going to break the WH budget by buying dozens of glazed donuts like he will.”


8 posted on 05/04/2025 11:53:34 AM PDT by Liz (This then is how we should pray...."Our Father, who art in heaven......" )
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To: AZJeep
His comments are clearly a blatant call for violent insurrection!

Why has he not been arrested and prosecuted for violent insurrection?

9 posted on 05/04/2025 12:49:42 PM PDT by volare737 (Diversity is something to be overcome, not celebrated.)
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