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"USAID Was Making the World Better" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 9 Feb 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/08/2025 2:48:15 AM PST by John Semmens

Samantha Powers, the recently fired Administrator of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), asserted that "the actions taken by Trump and his DOGE goons to defame and gut the agency will do immeasurable harm because USAID was making the world a better place. Though few people know this, USAID was instrumental in the first impeachment of President Trump in December of 2019. Working in cooperation with the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) we got the ball rolling. While Trump was not convicted and removed from office the bad publicity ultimately led to him losing the 2020 to Joe Biden."

"Trump wasn't the only fascist USAID helped lose his grip on power," Powers boasted. "We also funneled tens of millions of dollars into the campaign to defeat Jair Bolsonaro's reelection as president of Brazil in 2022. We also invested in censoring European enemies of democracy like France's Marine Le Pen, Italy's Matteo Salvini, and the United Kingdom's Nigel Farage. We helped to mute their seductive, but dangerous message that the people should freely choose their own leaders."

Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del) declared "the millions that USAID has paid out to the Taliban, the PLO and Hamas is what has kept us safe from domestic terror attacks like we saw on 911. In my book, paying a few hundred million to protect our cities and citizens from being attacked is money well-spent. Trump's intention to sever this pipeline of cash from the USAID to the terrorists will cost lives."

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) decried the pending downsizing of USAID, saying "if it hadn't been for the aid given to Somalia when I was a child I wouldn't be a member of Congress today. Allowing others from all parts of the world to enrich America's culture like I have requires that USAID continue its vital work."

Newly confirmed Secretary of State Marco Rubio pointed out that "USAID is not some independent entity. The former leadership of USAID's notion that they can just keep on doing what they've been doing is erroneous. It is an agency funded by taxes collected from the American people. It must be made to work for the benefit of the American people. The people elected Donald Trump to look out for their interests. And from what DOGE has discovered most of what USAID has been doing is of no benefit to the American people."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: fraud; postandrun; satire; selfpromotion; terror; waste

1 posted on 02/08/2025 2:48:15 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 02/08/2025 2:49:33 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
"USAID Was Making the World Better"

Finish the sentence.

"USAID Was Making the World Better" for queers, trannies, and commies.

3 posted on 02/08/2025 2:54:30 AM PST by RoosterRedux ("There's nothing so inert as a closed mind" )
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To: RoosterRedux

A start to making the world a better place would be to house Samantha Powers in GiTMO.


4 posted on 02/08/2025 3:04:39 AM PST by Enterprise (These people have no honor, no belief, no poetry, no art, no humor, no patriotism.)
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To: John Semmens

Even Jefferson didn’t like paying tribute to pirates.


5 posted on 02/08/2025 3:27:56 AM PST by brooklin
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To: RoosterRedux

Just simplify and say leftists😂

Dims deeply saddened


6 posted on 02/08/2025 3:47:01 AM PST by blitz128
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To: John Semmens

Explain to me again how sending $38 million tax dollars to Politico is feeding hungry children in Sudan.


7 posted on 02/08/2025 3:47:47 AM PST by MMusson ( )
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To: All

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) decried the pending downsizing of USAID, saying “if it hadn’t been for the aid given to Somalia when I was a child I wouldn’t be a member of Congress today. Allowing others from all parts of the world to enrich America’s culture like I have requires that USAID continue its vital work.”


Betcha that’s the way she really thinks.....


8 posted on 02/08/2025 3:52:44 AM PST by Liz
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To: John Semmens
Though few people know this, USAID was instrumental in the first impeachment of President Trump in December of 2019. Working in cooperation with the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) we got the ball rolling. While Trump was not convicted and removed from office the bad publicity ultimately led to him losing the 2020 to Joe Biden." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now these dens of vipers will be cleaned out. Who in Holy F--K do they think they are?



9 posted on 02/08/2025 3:52:47 AM PST by Candor7 (Ask not for whom the Trump Trolls,He trolls for thee!),<img src="" width=500</img><a href="">tag</a>)
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To: John Semmens

USAID was a Leftest $hitshow


10 posted on 02/08/2025 6:20:36 AM PST by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens

lol
Someone has to teach Hamas children the virtues of Che Guevara
Might as well be us.


11 posted on 02/08/2025 8:23:15 AM PST by monkeyshine (live and let live is dead)
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To: John Semmens
Semi? or News, news?

Other than helping Ms. Powers express her hidden beliefs, the following appears to be a succinct summary of their actions and objectives... Samantha Powers, the recently fired Administrator of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), asserted that "the actions taken by Trump and his DOGE goons to defame and gut the agency will do immeasurable harm because USAID was making the world a better place. Though few people know this, USAID was instrumental in the first impeachment of President Trump in December of 2019. Working in cooperation with the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) we got the ball rolling. While Trump was not convicted and removed from office the bad publicity ultimately led to him losing the 2020 to Joe Biden."

"Trump wasn't the only fascist USAID helped lose his grip on power," Powers boasted. "We also funneled tens of millions of dollars into the campaign to defeat Jair Bolsonaro's reelection as president of Brazil in 2022. We also invested in censoring European enemies of democracy like France's Marine Le Pen, Italy's Matteo Salvini, and the United Kingdom's Nigel Farage. We helped to mute their seductive, but dangerous message that the people should freely choose their own leaders."

Thanks, John. An exceptional column.

12 posted on 02/08/2025 9:10:34 AM PST by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never...in nothing, great or small...Winston ChurchIill)
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