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Girl Fireman Rushes Into Burning Building To Tell Victim He's Too Heavy But The Real Firemen Will Be Here In 15 Minutes
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/10/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/10/2025 11:55:33 AM PST by DFG

LOS ANGELES, CA — Girl firefighter Melissa Sandros risked life and limb yesterday as she entered a burning building to tell a victim that he was too heavy for her to carry, but that the real firemen would be there in about fifteen minutes or so.

According to witnesses, Sandros was part of an early response team that arrived at a burning office building. Upon arrival, she reportedly rushed into the building in an effort to rescue a 215-lb man who had become disoriented because of the smoke.

"Don't worry! I'm here to stand next to you until someone who can help you gets here," Santos was heard shouting to the suffering man. "The real firefighters will be here soon. I can't carry you out of here. I'm a girl. Isn't that awesome?"

While the 95-lb Sandros was unable to lift the man, she nonetheless stayed behind to inform him that the real firefighters would be there soon before clearing out of the building.

"Ms. Sandros displayed courage of the highest caliber in going above and beyond her duty as a girl fireman," said Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crawley in a statement to the press. "We laud her for her outstanding commitment to public safety by presenting such a great example of being a girl fireman in a world full of boy firemen. Great job, Melissa — slay, queen!"

At publishing time, Sandros continued representing the very best girl firemen had to offer by arriving at the site of the Runyon Canyon wildfire to distribute sandwiches to the real firemen.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; lafires
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1 posted on 01/10/2025 11:55:33 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

The Bee hit it right on the nose. DEI needs to D-I-E.


2 posted on 01/10/2025 11:56:45 AM PST by No name given ( Anonymous is who you’ll know me as)
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To: DFG

Well, he shouldn’t have put himself in danger in the first place.


3 posted on 01/10/2025 11:57:40 AM PST by ClearCase_guy
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To: ClearCase_guy

Or maybe some of the people who were around listening to this conversation could have helped.


4 posted on 01/10/2025 12:00:09 PM PST by Kathy in OC
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To: DFG

Now, LAFD just needs to go the extra step and fire all the capable firemen. Hire only little girls of color who plan to be lesbians when they grow up.


5 posted on 01/10/2025 12:01:07 PM PST by Telepathic Intruder
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To: Kathy in OC

Ooops, just noticed it was fake news.


6 posted on 01/10/2025 12:01:48 PM PST by Kathy in OC
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To: ClearCase_guy

LOL! I’ve heard that somewhere before . . oh yes, it’s coming back to me.


7 posted on 01/10/2025 12:02:19 PM PST by BipolarBob (I took my girlfriend to a fruit orchard. I didn't get it but she said she wanted to apple watch.)
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To: DFG

Stung by the Bee AND DEI again.


8 posted on 01/10/2025 12:03:05 PM PST by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: Kathy in OC

It’s fake news but it could have happened.


9 posted on 01/10/2025 12:03:32 PM PST by BipolarBob (I took my girlfriend to a fruit orchard. I didn't get it but she said she wanted to apple watch.)
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To: DFG

Men are going to have to learn become a lot shorter and skinnier if they want to be saved from fires.

Equity!


10 posted on 01/10/2025 12:04:15 PM PST by cgbg (It is time to pull the Deep State out of the mass media--like ticks from a dog.)
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To: Kathy in OC

This is truer than most “news” these days.


11 posted on 01/10/2025 12:04:19 PM PST by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: DFG

I still remember when they first started letting the girls become full time Firepersons and when two of them went into a burning house and when they found an unconscious man on the second floor who was so large they dragged him down the stairs by his feet.


12 posted on 01/10/2025 12:06:52 PM PST by antidemoncrat ( )
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To: DFG
Lesbians disapprove of this message.


13 posted on 01/10/2025 12:07:12 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Climate Change is Real. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

That’s not what I was envisioning.. Somehow this keeps coming to mind as i read the article:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFhf67yNp-o


14 posted on 01/10/2025 12:11:06 PM PST by posterchild
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To: DFG
DIE goes way back. Back to Shoshana Johnson and Jessica Lynch getting captured.

Us Army Private Jessica Lynch Specialist Editorial Stock Photo - Stock  Image | Shutterstock Editorial

15 posted on 01/10/2025 12:11:26 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Climate Change is Real. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.)
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To: posterchild
12 THINGS ONLY STRAIGHT GIRLS SAY TO LESBIANS! – ChelsieFreed
16 posted on 01/10/2025 12:13:28 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Climate Change is Real. Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall.)
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To: All

At publishing time, Sandros continued representing the very best girl firemen
by arriving at the Runyon Canyon wildfire to make coffee and sandwiches for the real firemen.


17 posted on 01/10/2025 12:13:30 PM PST by Liz ((This then is how we should pray: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. ))
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To: DFG

Did she tell him he should have been there in the first place?


18 posted on 01/10/2025 12:15:25 PM PST by stanne (Because they were mesmerized by Obama, the man for whom this was named, whose name they left out of )
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To: DFG

She would have told him that he would have to figure out how to get out of there by himself because there are no firemen.


19 posted on 01/10/2025 12:21:30 PM PST by webheart (S)
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To: DFG

I fell for it... hate when that happens.


20 posted on 01/10/2025 1:11:16 PM PST by GOPJ (AMERICA FOR AMERICANS if anyone wants to live in an overpopulated hellhole they can MOVE there..)
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