Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Gov Makes Case for Doritos [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 October 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/14/2024 11:07:34 AM PDT by John Semmens

The emergence of a video in which Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and podcaster Liz Plank appear to be simulating Holy Communion using a Dorito chip has drawn widespread criticism from Christians. That this mockery was followed by Plank asking Whitmer if she had ever considered a post-birth abortion for either of her two daughters made things worse.

Not one to back down from a fight, Whitmer tried to cast the incident as "just harmless fun. Considering that the traditional Eucharist bread wafer is so tasteless and bland, I'd think churches might want to reconsider replacing it. Doritos are far more popular. Folks are known to scarf them down bagfuls at a time. If fans of this snack chip could get them at church attendance might improve. As for that post-birth abortion thing, seeing that both my daughters are now adults I doubt I have the legal authority to make such a decision even if it would help save the planet from overheating."

"Don't get me wrong," she continued. "Reducing the human footprint is an important tool for saving the planet. That's why abortion must be made a constitutional obligation everywhere in the world. The Harris/Walz team offers the best chance of making this happen before it is too late. We could also adopt the one child per family rule that has helped China get a handle on its population growth. Governor Walz has the connections with Chinese experts, the courage to forge ahead, and the zeal for the final objective that can get the job done. I hope he is made Czar of reproductive permits under a Harris presidency."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,543703.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: abortion; democrats; gretchenwhitmer; lizplank; michigan; romancatholicism; satire; whitmer

1 posted on 10/14/2024 11:07:34 AM PDT by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

Walz should be made “Czar of reproductive permits” in a Harris presidency.
<><>He has the connections with Chinese experts on population control,
<><>the courage to forge ahead,
<><>and the zeal for the final objective to get the job done.


Yes.


2 posted on 10/14/2024 11:14:29 AM PDT by Liz (Faith is believing what you cannot see; its reward is to see what you believe. St Augustine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

They didn’t have Doritos in Jesus’ time so the whole point is moot.

She’s a sick puppy, as was the moron she was with.

Hopefully, she and harris will be out of jobs soon.

Easy to pick on us Christians. We don’t end you if we are offended.

The real tough guy insults islam in public. Without hiding their names and faces.


3 posted on 10/14/2024 11:16:37 AM PDT by dp0622 (Tried a coup, a fake tax story, tramp slander, Russia nonsense, impeachment and a virus. They lost.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson