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Texas Rangers Double Down With 'No Homo Night'
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/26/2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/26/2024 3:36:17 PM PDT by DFG

ARLINGTON, TX — Despite facing ongoing criticism for being the only remaining Major League Baseball team to not hold a Pride Night, the Texas Rangers announced the club would double down by celebrating a "No Homo Night" at the ballpark.

Whereas all other MLB teams scheduled special nights to cater to celebrating LGBTQ lifestyles, the Rangers instead decided to institute "No Homo Night," which will include overtly heterosexual hotdogs, no physical touching between male fans other than aggressive high-fives, and a strict ban on any Dallas Cowboys clothing.

"It's going to be a sweet time at the ballpark. No homo," said Rangers General Manager Chris Young. "We want everyone who comes out to the stadium for that game to be assured that all affection among the players and fans will be strictly platonic in nature. We've even decided to have the players abstain from slapping each other's behinds for this game."

Rangers leadership also took special care to instruct all parking lot attendants to turn away anyone attempting to arrive at the stadium driving Subaru SUVs.

LGBTQ activists did not take kindly to the team's announcement. "Stop oppressing us!" shouted one social media user who was only wearing purple leather chaps in his profile photo. "How are we supposed to feel seen and celebrated when only a measly 29 out of 30 MLB teams have a Pride Night? You bigots!"

At publishing time, all tickets for "No Homo Night" had sold out, with many fans expressing relief that they could take their kids to the game without fear of having to explain why people would wear Dallas Cowboys gear.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cowboys; mlb; nohomo; pride; rangers
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1 posted on 06/26/2024 3:36:17 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

They should take it one step further and REQUIRE all couples to be straight, or at least require that if they bring children (or ‘playthings’, as they say in the gay community). That would SERIOUSLY tweak that bunch.


2 posted on 06/26/2024 3:39:56 PM PDT by BobL
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To: DFG

Baseball being my only real professional sport to watch, I have avoided it now for 3-4 years due to this woke BS.

Maybe I’ll become a rangers fan.


3 posted on 06/26/2024 3:40:23 PM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. )
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To: DFG

That’s a good one!


4 posted on 06/26/2024 3:45:15 PM PDT by jacknhoo (Luke 12:51; Think ye, that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, no; but separation.)
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To: DFG
> ...We've even decided to have the players abstain from slapping each other's behinds for this game...

I've always wondered about that tradition...

Gotta love The Bee!

5 posted on 06/26/2024 3:48:33 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: DFG

LOL, the theme of this article had me going.

Too bad it’s not true.


6 posted on 06/26/2024 3:52:05 PM PDT by Paladin2
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To: DFG
I have no problems with gay men and women but the in your face activism of the LGTBQ agenda is a real nightmare.

I'm really liking the Ranger's “No Homo Day” concept.

That's what I call celebrating diversity.

7 posted on 06/26/2024 3:56:21 PM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: DFG

Almost fell for it!!!!


8 posted on 06/26/2024 3:57:51 PM PDT by Thank You Rush
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To: DFG

Their effort was fruitless.

9 posted on 06/26/2024 3:57:51 PM PDT by Songcraft
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To: DFG

OMG, it was the bee.

They got me dead to rights.

If it sounds too good to be true ........


10 posted on 06/26/2024 3:58:32 PM PDT by rdcbn1
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To: DFG
Egad - overtly heterosexual hot dogs?

Nope. I'd get banned for sure...

11 posted on 06/26/2024 3:58:45 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DFG

12 posted on 06/26/2024 4:00:21 PM PDT by Allegra (Toss a zeeper in the Dnieper)
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To: DFG

Maybe they should also have announced that Bud Light will not be for sale.


13 posted on 06/26/2024 4:07:19 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: Thank You Rush
Almost fell for it!!!!

Me too. 🤣

14 posted on 06/26/2024 4:16:28 PM PDT by Mark17 (Retired USAF air traffic controller. Father of Air Force pilot. Both bitten by the aviation bug)
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To: Verginius Rufus

And no disco music when batters approach the plate.


15 posted on 06/26/2024 4:17:31 PM PDT by Tell It Right (Galatians 6:14 -- May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ...)
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To: DFG
🤣A strict ban on any Dallas Cowboys clothing.🤣


16 posted on 06/26/2024 4:35:40 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> --- )
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To: DFG

Rangers leadership also took special care to instruct all parking lot attendants to turn away anyone attempting to arrive at the stadium driving Subaru SUVs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder how that one started....Regardless, it’s very annoying when this has to get in the way of a decision about car renting, buying or even riding in one.


17 posted on 06/26/2024 4:38:53 PM PDT by hecticskeptic
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To: DFG
The rarely get me but I got down to this:
Rangers leadership also took special care to instruct all parking lot attendants to turn away anyone attempting to arrive at the stadium driving Subaru SUVs.

18 posted on 06/26/2024 5:31:54 PM PDT by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
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To: Tell It Right

I’d pay a HUGE premium for a quiet ballpark with nothing but baseball, a good announcer and a “Charge” maybe once an inning.

I took my son to an LA Dodgers game a couple months ago and it was deafening. I anxiously waited for the five seconds of silence during the windup, pitch and action. Then the deafening rap resumed to the next pitch.

Last game I will ever go to.


19 posted on 06/26/2024 5:41:43 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“When exposing a crime is treated like a crime, you are being ruled by criminals” – Edward Snowden)
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

Players have more PA influence than most understand. They are mostly 25 to 35 years old and want to hear ‘their’ music loud, with some concessions to the geezer season ticket holders.

I also mostly pass.


20 posted on 06/26/2024 5:52:19 PM PDT by jjotto ( Blessed are You LORD, who crushes enemies and subdues the wicked.)
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