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Next Pandemic 100 Times Worse than COVID [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/11/2024 10:51:59 AM PDT by John Semmens

Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said "the President has been briefed by scientific experts who warn that the H5N1 strain of bird flu could have a 50% fatality rate. That means it would kill half the people who catch the disease, which they tell us will be almost everyone. Since the fatality rate for COVID turned out to be only one half of a percent, the bird flu would kill 100 times as many people as COVID did."

"The CDC is working on the measures that will be needed to limit the damage," Jean-Pierre assured an incredulous press corps. "This will mean 600 foot social distancing, airtight masks, and the shutdown of every activity that entails human-to-human contact of any kind. This means all in-person education, shopping, employment, recreation, entertainment, and health care will need to be forbidden."

"It almost goes without saying that whatever new vaccines are invented will need to be mandated for everyone," the Press Secretary advised. "There can be no exemptions for any reason--no religious exemptions, no age limits, no medical contraindications, no 'my body, my choice' objections. If culling is deemed necessary everyone will be required to submit to being humanely killed and buried in mass graves or incinerated, which is deemed best by the CDC."

"Considering the importance of absolute and immediate obedience to all government directives, any voiced dissent will be treated as a capital offense with no right of appeal of a sentence of death," she warned. "The survival of our leaders must be ensured at all cost so that civilization can be reborn from the fittest of the human herd."

"The President has urged that everyone remain calm," she added. "He needs your trust and support now more than ever. If that trust and support is sufficient to reelect him, he promises to be as merciful as possible. Those who can show proof of a significant donation to his campaign and are willing to sign a pre-filled-in mail ballot will be given the utmost consideration when it comes to living space in the survivor bunkers. God bless you all and good night."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,528893.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: lies; postandrun; propaganda; satire; selfpromotion; tyranny

1 posted on 04/11/2024 10:51:59 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

“... mandated for everyone,” the Press Secretary advised. “There can be no exemptions for any reason—no religious exemptions, no age limits, no medical contraindications, no ‘my body, my choice’ objections. “

~~~

In my opinion, this is the ultimate goal. Moreso than even rigging elections for ballot harvesting.


2 posted on 04/11/2024 10:54:34 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: John Semmens

but COVID was 1% COVID and 99% Hype


3 posted on 04/11/2024 10:54:43 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens

Pre election scam remix in 3, 2,.......


4 posted on 04/11/2024 10:55:18 AM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this💩? 🚫💉! 🇮🇱👍!)
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To: John Semmens

The Spanish flu, what they called the worst thing of the past 200 years, killed 287 people out of 100,000. A bird flu is projected to kill 50K our of 100K... talk about total BS.


5 posted on 04/11/2024 10:56:42 AM PDT by Glad2bnuts (“And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: We should have set up ambushes...paraphrased)
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To: John Semmens

worse than the winter of sickness and death???


6 posted on 04/11/2024 10:57:26 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Chode

Is the weather going to warm up or what


7 posted on 04/11/2024 10:59:27 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: John Semmens

If the new disease targets politicians at an extremely high rate like Covid did, I am not sure I could be unhappy.


8 posted on 04/11/2024 11:02:37 AM PDT by algore
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To: John Semmens

Well it will be right in time for the election, anyway


9 posted on 04/11/2024 11:03:49 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. )
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To: John Semmens

10 posted on 04/11/2024 11:05:16 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: John Semmens
Next Pandemic 100 Times Worse than COVID

The dream of the Lying Lunatic Tyrannical Left.

No doubt they are doing what they can to make it happen, like they did to launch the Wuhan Virus.

11 posted on 04/11/2024 11:13:33 AM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: Jim W N

100X worse than Covid X 0.01% = 1% fatality rate......


12 posted on 04/11/2024 11:22:53 AM PDT by mikelets456
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To: John Semmens

Something THAT virulent would burn out all of the hosts before it came close to pandemic state. The problem with the bird flu is that it is tough to spread.


13 posted on 04/11/2024 11:29:05 AM PDT by Vermont Lt (Don’t vote for anyone over 70 years old. Get rid of the geriatric politicians.)
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To: mikelets456

100X worse than Covid X 0.01% = 1% fatality rate......

~~~

It wont matter.

The point will be to suspend constitutional rights under the guise of public health and emergency management.

At least half of our population already demonstrated that they could blindly believe that a cold/flu virus was worth giving up their freedoms.

The people in power now know that the next one just needs APPEAR to be bad enough to scare people. It’s not really about the virus. That’s the excuse. The pathology could be worse than last time, and probably will be, but that’s not the point. What they will be able to force the population to do, is the point.


14 posted on 04/11/2024 11:32:33 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: John Semmens

I need a ticket to the inevitable “Trail of Tears”!


15 posted on 04/11/2024 11:52:10 AM PDT by immadashell (Save Innocent Lives: Ban Gun Free Zones)
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