Posted on 10/04/2023 11:55:34 AM PDT by DFG
U.S. — The federal government quickly reminded everyone that the emergency alert telling everyone to run from their lives from invading arachnids was merely a test.
"To clarify, the message that we are all about to die was just a test," said the White House. "We're going to assume from the millions of dead boomers lying in the street that the system worked."
After weeks of preparation, the National Emergency Alert System decided to go with invading arachnids for the test message. "It really conveys the level of panic we want people to feel," said Director Amanda Baines. "You hear that sound, we want people running into the streets in terror looking for the mutant monsters that have come to kill us all. I think we're on the right track."
At publishing time, it was discovered that half the United States Senate had died from heart attacks as a result of the test.
Four legs good, two legs bad, eight legs awesome. Also pointy drippy fangs...
Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!
-Tim (as some call him) the Enchanter
Exactly, I couldn’t do that type of work sober, much less on drugs.
All the web comes out of an animal that often times is no bigger than a pencil eraser.
I was at the Sirloin Stockade salad bar when everyone’s phones sounded the alert.
Folks said it would be a mind control signal, but I didn’t notice any effects.
Thank you my lord and savior comrade President Joe Biden! 🥹🤪
I told my sister it would happen at 11:20AM Commiefornia time(She’s pregnant so I didnt want some big noise to freak her out) and of course it came two minutes early, she didnt care, noise didnt bother her. I get these stupid alerts all the time even when it has nothing to do with my area.
You want bugs? I recommend the movie “Infestation”. Funny stuff.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020543/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_infestation
A slacker awakes to find himself weak and wrapped in a webbing; after realizing that the world has been taken over by giant alien insects, he wakes a ragtag group of strangers and together they fight for survival.
Ok, what is koffein?
You bet! It's a real toss-up for my favorite character.. ;O).
Yes, very tough. Better take both!
By your command! ;O)
“Press 2 for Ingles”
Caffeine................
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