Posted on 07/29/2023 3:11:03 PM PDT by DFG
There you are, sitting across from an elderly, demented man drooling on his oatmeal, when suddenly you begin to wonder: Am I in a nursing home, or in the chambers of the United States Senate?? To help you solve the mystery, look for these nine helpful differences:
1. Nursing Home: Residents call out "Bingo!" to win money Senate: Residents call out "Aye!" to spend your money
2.Nursing Home: Costs $10,000 per resident per month Senate: Costs $10 billion per resident per second
3. Nursing Home: Residents alert a nurse when they've soiled themselves Senate: Residents wave to camera as if nothing happened when they've soiled themselves
4.Nursing Home: Surprisingly, plagued by STDs Senate: Not surprisingly, plagued by STDs
5.Nursing Home: Aides tell residents which domino to play Senate: Aides tell residents which country to invade
6. Nursing Home: Pudding and smoothies in the cafeteria at 4 Senate: Pudding, adrenochrome, and roasted flies in the cafeteria at 4
7.Nursing Home: Smells of death and fecal matter Senate: Same, if the President stops by
8. Nursing Home: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock Senate: A bunch of old, angry people yelling about missing Matlock
9. Nursing Home: Residents all still alive Senate: Residents were all, at some point, alive
It takes a keen eye to spot the differences - let us know any that we missed!
Read the headline twice...smiled...then laughed...then looked to see who could possibly write a piece like this. Clue....Bzzzzzzz
Thank you!
Many funny lines.
I had to look up “adrenochrome” as I never heard of it after decades of frequent visits to conservative sites. I learned that multiple leftist sites are obsessed over claimed right-wing discussion of the subject. I can only imagine how many liberals think adrenochrome is a “thing” with conservatives. Clearly it is not.
I’m at a nursing home, but the vast majority of the 120 people here are in better shape than Biden, McConnell, and Feinstein.
Effing brilliant!
What is the average age when you sum up all the Senators.. Now sum up the age of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence.
Bless you.
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