Posted on 06/30/2023 12:59:34 PM PDT by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leftists are devastated this morning after the Supreme Court passed down a new ruling that will ban robbing those who didn't attend college to pay for the expensive and useless degrees of those who did.
"If the useless poor can't pay for my $300,000 Diversity and Belonging Doctorate degree, what good are they?" said Dr. Mikayla Barnes, a local Starbucks shift manager. "What am I supposed to do now? Work more? I'm ruined!"
Sources say this tragic ruling will adversely affect the lives of thousands of feminists who will no longer be able to afford blue hair dye, and may now have to find a rich man to marry them. "How could the poors be so coldhearted to our suffering?" said Barnes. "Curse you, Clarence Thomas!"
At publishing time, Democrats had been rocked by further tragedy as SCOTUS ruled you can't force Christians to do gay stuff.
I worked my way through college...
I helped my own children and grandchildren ...
I’m not going to pay for anyone elses ...
As usual I had to look twice to be sure it was The Bee.
Supposedly satire, but way too close to the truth.
Witness the violence inherent in the system!
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