Posted on 06/17/2023 10:15:30 AM PDT by John Semmens
Following his indictment for mishandling classified documents, former President Trump visited the Versailles Restaurant in the Little Havana neighborhood of Miami where he shouted "food for everyone." Since it was his birthday, the crowd sang "Happy Birthday" to him. Afterward he thanked them for "such a warm welcome on such a SAD DAY for our Country!"
Upon being apprised of this incident, Special Persecutor Jack Smith announced he would be "amending the indictment to include two new counts. Publicly calling his indictment a 'sad day for the country' is another act aimed at obstructing justice. Promising free food and not following through is perjury. There will now be 39 counts that Mr. Trump will have to answer for."
A spokesperson for the Trump campaign explained that "there were no unpaid restaurant tabs. Campaign advance team members paid for their own to-go meals and the President's supporters followed him outside the restaurant without ordering any food."
Smith dismissed this explanation, saying "it will be up to a jury to decide whether the promise of free food was fulfilled for any anti-Trump dinners left behind. This campaign statement also fails to deny the added charge of obstruction. Calling it a sad day for the country is a clear attempt to taint the jury pool. Given that polls show that a greater percentage have a negative than favorable opinion of Trump I think the indictment could be a 'glad day for the country.'"
In related news, Smith also defended compelling Trump's lawyers to testify against him, insisting that "the so-called attorney client privilege is only available to loyal Americans. As an insurrectionist, Trump has lost this legal protection. Anyone who has associated himself with Trump in any way--as lawyers, aides, appointees, or voters--can be compelled to testify and in accordance with the Patriot Act, may be tortured if that becomes necessary to elicit the required evidence needed to ensure our national security."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,503034.0.html
Like when Biden promised to pay off student loans to get the kid votes.
He is obviously guilty of mopery, dopery and the third man on the grassy knoll.
This boosts the “counts” to 39 giving the opportunity to add more years to his sentence if he’s convicted.
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