Posted on 05/24/2023 7:46:17 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat
I've worked for a large bank for 6 years. I have excellent performance reviews. The female co-worker lives/works in California. I do not work with her on any projects nor is she related to my team. Nor are we in the same office. She reached out looking to leave CA to NC. There was a position open on my team & sent her the application. She applied and wasn't granted an interview. She called me mad and frustrated. She filed a complaint two days ago against me with HR. We last texted 3 months ago; HR has this text string. I met with HR, and I'm being investigated. In one text, I said she was "pretty and young". She's accusing me of tracking her and asking verbally if she sold her home and if she wanted to move to NC. I won't have future contact with her. I presented to HR an e-mail chain of her telling me she doesn't like CA and that she wanted to move to NC. I used to consider her a friendly acquaintance. I'm told HR will make a "recommendation" to my manager in 3 days. I have a good relationship with my manager. In the complaint, I did NOT hear the words "sexual harassment" but only "uncomfortable" - I think she is retaliating against me.
I am interested in your thoughts and advice, especially if you have had some personal experience of a similar nature.
In my guy's case, the comment was verbal and was made a month before the complaint and the complaint was made a week after the accuser got caught by my guy violating a procedure and informed her boss, who doesn't like him because, if I have the story right, she (the boss) blames him for not getting a promotion.
The comment, made to the subordinate and overheard at the time by her boss, whom my guy was on the way to talk to about some work matter or other, was something along the lines of "Did you move? I haven't seen you here early like I used to."
And then they (two newish HR people, female, of course) also dredged up a comment he made over two years ago about someone having a nice dress on, or something like that. I believe this was another situation where the person complained about a month later when she too got in trouble for violating a procedure.
(He is in a position to see violations based on alerts he gets on the system about things. It is literally his job to look into these and take some sort of action, which has, in the past resulted in people getting fired who have friends still at the company who are upset about that. It tends to be more so women who get in trouble just because they are the ones who hold the positions that these alerts concern.)
Thank you in advance.
Very simple, you can, and likely will get fired.
Sounds very minor given rulz in the past, but in these daze it’s MAJOR.
The chicklet is obviously a victim and needs to have HR vindicate her ridiculous complaint.
[And you think the Legal System is broken...]
North Carolina is an employee at will state. So unless there’s something in your employee handbook about progressive discipline, the company has the right to fire you for good reason bad reason for no reason at all as long as it’s not related to race, sex, national origin, gender, religion, etc. Commenting on a woman’s looks in today’s business world is an absolute no-no. I advise clients on these issues all the time. If I were advising the company in this matter, I would probably just have them give you a verbal counseling/warning. But if it’s a large corporation, they might pull the trigger and fire you. Also, you have no case for retaliation. Good luck!
Most likely he is already fired and hasn’t gotten the notice yet. Companies are scared to death of lawsuits over sexual harassment. If he does manage to keep his job, they are going to make his life a living hell in that company until he quits. HR departments are full of woke petty tyrants with BS degrees that HATE men. And she has already shown her vindictiveness so this won’t be the last time she lodges a complaint.
Don't get your honey where you get your money.
On the other hand, a lot of people meet their spouses at work. Most of our social lives revolve around work.
The exception?
When promoting people ONLY choose based on merit... the best qualited man, woman, sexual weirdo or person of grievance group - whoever's best at what the job requires...
If you really care about your job and plan to continue working there, i.e. making it a career, then de-escalate this situation as soon as possible. Don’t worry about who is right, just appologize and move on. Try to set things right with your boss; you will always screw up some day and don’t need one or two strikes against you.
My situation was I knew where all the bodies were burried, but I never played that card, just kept it in reserve (never had to use it) until I was able to get my time in and leave. Best thing I ever did was to get my time in (toward retirement), then leave the first day possible.
Maybe back then, but not now, I don't even accept Facebook requests from co-workers.
Just another reason to completely ignore women in the workplace.
It can only get you into trouble.
Good point. It's wise to be aloof. And keep your social circle small.
The thread is confusing since you brought in your friend in a similar situation.
Trying to ignore that, as a female, you have a pretty solid shield there. If she’s trying to paint you as a lesbian harasser, you’re doubly shielded.
I’m guessing you don’t have a union to represent you, but don’t say ANYTHING in the hearing a couple of days from now. If the finding is damaging to your career, consult a lawyer, but DON’T SAY ANYTHING!!!
Best of luck, and if you think of it, FReepmail me with what happened.
As unfortunate as it is, he needs to start looking for a new job. He is totally screwed in the world of Corporate HR
This company is going to bite off it’s nose to spite it’s face if it fires him.
Without exaggeration, if he goes, it will take no time at all for the alerts to pile up, for employees to figure out no one is watching, and within a month, I estimate, at least over 100K is out the door.
They really need a woman in his position to write up other women for violating procedures. It will be harder for them to claim harassment.
Actually I’ve reconnected with a lot of my high school mates in recent years. You start to realize there are fewer opportunities to really have bonds with other people. High school is one of the few, especially if you went to a small High School where everybody knew everybody else.
And it is that weaponized victimhood that women use and that companies let them use which causes me to have zero committment to any company. I am just getting paid and who cares if one day I do not get paid. Just go to the next crappy company, full of women who think they are victims and get paid again.
Rinse and repeat...oh, and live way beneath one’s means.
Sounds like E. Jean Carroll part three, not two because Carroll’s planning to take action on things Trump said after the first verdict.
>> It is best not to communicate with women in a work environment.
It took many years but it finally sunk in that I actually have NO IDEA how to “communicate with women”. So I think I’m safe!
The thought has occurred to me that the recent news involving Trump and the nutty Carroll woman has inspired ape-sh*t crazy females at various workplaces to go even more psycho b*tch.
I’m a chick myself, so I know how some operate.
I don’t know how that jury, that was so male-dominated, decided the way it did. How I would have loved to have been on it and lectured to those stupid dudes about what a living hell deciding for Carroll would make their lives and those of their sons.
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