Biden Announces U.S. Surrender To Chinese Balloon

Babylon Bee ^ | 02/03/2023 | Babylon Bee

[DFG]

WORLD — In a surprise statement to the world from the White House Situation Room, President Biden has announced America's unconditional surrender to the Chinese Spy Balloon.

"Listen, folks, it's over," said Biden as a single tear ran down his face. "We're outgunned here. There's no hope that we can match the awesome power of this giant balloon."

Biden's voice was drowned out by the dozens of weeping journalists gathered outside the room.

"I urge you all to hug your loved ones and embrace your children, for the end is near. God help us all," Biden finally said before signing off for the last time.

At publishing time, Americans had been urged by the administration to start learning Mandarin.

[bigbob]

He is not a number, he is a Free Man!

[Georgia Girl 2]

😂

[Oldeconomybuyer]

😂

[TLI]

signing off for the last time.

If only it was not the Bee.

.

[Fledermaus]

GOOD ONE!

[seowulf]

Why is that MAGA Republican F-15s (instead of AR-15s) to take on the government, but the Chinese only need a ballon?

[Seruzawa]

Cowards. Rats are pretty brave when it comes to sending jackbooted thugs against Americans. But they, like all bullies, shrink in fear from foreign murder-states.

[Mark]

Balloons scare me!

[clearcarbon]

Americans had been urged by the administration to start learning Mandarin.

First six words: "Please do not shoot my parents."

[minnesota_bound]

Shoot down the balloon by Shawn Farash Trump
https://twitter.com/Shawn_Farash/status/1621560316936028164

Kristy Swanson takes off
https://twitter.com/KristySwansonXO/status/1621543907665367040

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸
@RepMTG
Chinese Spy Balloon. Happy Valentines Day to Eric Swalwell

Catturd ™
@catturd2
The Chinese Spy Balloon is currently floating over our county reminding the world how utterly worthless and weak the Biden regime is.

The Biden regime is so incompetent - they can’t figure out how to pop a balloon.

The same exact people who call you a Putin puppet from daring to oppose over $100,000,000,000 to Ukraine in a year - are perfectly fine with a Chinese Spy balloon over American soil.

Don’t worry ... If the China spy balloon flies over Ukraine the Biden regime will shoot it down in 5-seconds-flat.

[1956tbyrd]

“The sky is secure.” - Mayorkas

[Songcraft]

Here's some background music for this thread.

Montanans were able to get a closeup view of the big Chinese balloon intruder when it briefly landed, in order to gather some data from ground level to send back to China.

"Eye Of The Tiger"
(song link)

[freepersup]

Impotent... is Biden, in ALL realms.

The United States has an unmatched CUCK for a leader.

[TBP]

Liberals claim the Chinese spy balloon was just a bunch of hot air.