Sacraments
Posted on 01/10/2023 10:39:00 AM PST by shadowlands1960
U.S. — A dispute regarding the nature of vaccination has arisen among faithful followers of The Science, and of Fauci its prophet. According to sources, some progressives say that the sacrament of vaccination is the literal body of Fauci, while others believe it is only symbolic.
"The mRNA juice we inject into our bodies to cover our COVID becomes the literal body of our Blessed Lord Fauci through a process called tranvaxstantiation," said progressive scholar Banz Tinkleman (he/him). "Whether it be Pfizer or Moderna, we can have faith that the real presence of Fauci is within the vax itself. To suggest otherwise is a damnable heresy. Why we..."
Tinkleman was unable to finish his sentence, as the left side of his face suddenly stopped working.
Several progressives, however, take issue with this view. "We vaccinate as a communal time of remembrance of Fauci and everything he's done for us," said a scholar Yix Mixley (she/her), who holds the opposing view. "We acknowledge that the spiritual presence of Fauci, blessings upon him, may be in with and under the vax, but reject tranvaxstantiation wholeheartedly."
Mixley then collapsed due to heart inflammation.
Good to see that the Bee knows its theological distinctions, even if they are slightly altered to protect the identity of their adherents.
“I am the science.” - Anthony 3:16.
I also love how they respected their ‘pronouns.’
There are traditionalists that want Abortion brought back in the original Latin.
Fabulous.
The bigger debate is whether his successor must be from Fauci’s family or just any old hack at NIAID.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
The followers of The Science are expecting St. Anthony to appear above and following after the next anointed head of The Science, and at the moment of ascension of St. Anthony, the candidate shall be infused with all the powers and authority to pronounce any theological challenge to the current controversies as either “settled Science” or a form of disinformation which may come under the jurisdiction of the civil authority.
LOL The Bee!!
Well, the Bee started out satirizing Christian idiosyncracies before it turned to more political satire.
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