Americans Still Don’t Enjoy Soccer

The Lid ^ | 27 Nov 2022 | Ari Kaufman

[Rummyfan]

For the last 10 days, moral superiors have pressured everyday Americans to heed attention to “football,” or as we deem it, soccer — so as not to be confused with the more popular sport.

Americans Still Don’t Enjoy Soccer

On Tuesday, the United States men’s national soccer team’s brief run in a Persian Gulf nation riddled with anti-Semites and misogynistic policies will end if the team doesn’t beat Iran, a squad with braver men than ours.

If you live in the Twitter cesspool or an urban bubble, you likely are under the erroneous impression that most Americans enjoy soccer, but as in so many other areas, Twitter and large cities do not represent real life.

I frequently travel the country by car and therefore meet a massive cross-section of people in various regions; no one I know is following the World Cup, even those whose children play soccer on weekends. No blue-collar or rural guy or suburban family is sitting down tomorrow afternoon to watch 90 minutes of dullness on the pitch.

A poll from earlier this year found that barely 7% of our countrymen consider themselves avid soccer fans, well behind football, baseball, basketball, and even hockey. This is the same percentage as those declaring they’re avid golf fans, a sport whose popularity is actually growing.

Again, despite the best efforts of corrupt FIFA and assorted soccer boosters in the last few decades, the sport will not catch on here, mainly because once some Americans watch “the beautiful game,” they realize its banality.

[Verginius Rufus]

De gustibus non est disputandum, as Cicero remarked after watching a boring soccer game. Back then the injuries weren't faked because the soccer balls were carved out of marble since plastic hadn't been invented yet.

[basalt]

over the years, ive tried so many times to try and get into soccer like i do other sports....and it just aint happenin. Fields way too big...the players have different position names, yet they all seem to be doing the same thing, which is waiting for whoever gets the lucky bounce...which are way too far and few between. Then they start diving and pretending they are hurt like they do in basketball...all in all, too low scoring, dumb uniforms, and just too boring.

[Verginius Rufus]

Hoping for a big USA win over Iran tomorrow.

It would be a nice touch if some of the fans in the stands had posters with 11.04.79 on them.

[Mozzafiato]

I love soccer, it’s my favorite sport. Probably because I grew up in an Italian family and the sport was ingrained in me. If you follow the European leagues (Italy, England, Spain, Germany, France) and know the top players the World Cup is a fantastic event. These players at the top level are highly skilled. I didn’t find the 0-0 USA-England game boring at all...it was full of tension and drama. I’m guessing if one doesn’t know the players or appreciate the talent it’s probably like me watching Handball in the Olympics.

[Dr. Sivana]

In 3rd grade (1972), we had a long term substitute teacher, Miss Adams, who was still in teacher school but was assigned to our class. She was a young women's libber (forced me to win a spelling bee by spelling "Ms.", no joke. I won even though the abbreviation was new then.) But worse than that she wanted to assign an activity during the short afternoon recess. ?! I refused on principle. Recess is recess and Gym is Gym. Oddly, I got away with it, watching the activity from the hill near the blacktop. So she was a women's libber AND a planner.

[rlmorel]

Gad. They understood even back then, the power of indoctrination. So, what was she doing? Making kids do calisthenics or soccer during “recess”?

I am with you. Recess is for taking a break, having fun, talking, playing games, whatever you like.

Free time to them is the Devil’s work to them. Just a different Devil from theirs!

[newzjunkey]

I think soccer in the US is associated with girls. It was fun to play in gym but not very compelling to watch. Our winningest team in San Diego was our soccer team and nobody cared. But all sports struggled there anyway.

Professional sports become a bore. In Georgia it’s the Dawgs, not the Falcons, that capture attention. I grew up watching football and baseball. I find little league world series or college games more compelling. Maybe because it’s still about love for the game and not the payday although that’s at risk now with college sports.

[Rummyfan]

Marcel Dionne.... that brings back memories.

[Ge0ffrey]

The only thing more boring than a soccer game is a soccer game that plays to a 0-0 tie.

[Rummyfan]

They count up and randomly add time?

Two other characteristics that drive me nuts.

[Kenny Bania]

The proof is the fans need to get blotto drunk to sit through a game.

Pretty much. Fans have more fun with the drunken sing-alongs during the game than the actual play.

[Rummyfan]

In Georgia it’s the Dawgs, not the Falcons, that capture attention.

One has to be a masochist to be a Falcons fan.

[Maine Mariner]

I love watching a Lacrosse game and Rugby too!

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

Lacrosse is way more interesting. Back in the early days of ESPN they used to show leser known sports like Irish hurling - IIRC was kind of like lacrosse except the object appeared to be to bludgeon an opponent rather than to score goals.

[Jamestown1630]

Husband also doesn’t like all the drama that many soccer players display when they get ‘injured’.

[stig]

And having an advert where Megan Rapinho tells us that the beautiful game belongs to all of us doesn't help. Megan Rapinho hates me and hates this country. Why should I listen to anything she says?!

She has a disgusted look on her face as if she is trying to direct that hate right through the camera.

[minnesota_bound]

Soccer is a plot brought by those that came up with the metric system!!

Soccer players are all near sighted. That is why they have such big nets. They still cannot score!

[minnesota_bound]

Dogs playing soccer better then people.
https://media.gab.com/system/media_attachments/files/121/382/273/playable/1833ced5bdf9f59a.mp4

[N. Theknow]

How much are season tickets? Club seating?

[N. Theknow]

Soccer = the game for slow white kids with no hand/eye coordination.