Posted on 08/08/2022 10:55:03 AM PDT by EBH
A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza...
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol. GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another Pharmacy.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
Reminds me of the Kiosk in Idiocracy...
“Your kids are starving. Carl’s Junior believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother your children will be placed in the custody of Carl’s Junior.”
This is ridiculous, not at all accurate. They have way more information than we can imagine.
“This is ridiculous, not at all accurate. They have way more information than we can imagine.”
True.
Unfortunately, that IS PRC (both the People’s Republic of China AND Politically Repressive Canada)!
Only in our case, it is not neccessarily Google, it is CSIS, the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (Canaduh’s KGB) reporting to Prime Mistake True-dolt and his Lieberal gubmint.
It is not yet that bad, so far, in the US. Note however, when bad things start in the US, they usually arrived in Canaduh several years earlier. When good things arrive in Canaduh, they have usually been in the US for a while.
Lately, Canaduh has been leading things, unfortunately.
You’re lucky if you can trust your family.
CALLER: “Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.”
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
One of our heirs and his wife just took a combo trip to Victoria from Frisco. They flew back from SeaTac to Sac..
Their hostess used to own a travel agency. She made all of the travel busy paperwork stuff just disappear. She told our relatives that they needed to update their passports via a friend in the business.
My wife had a hip replacement in early March. It took months to get the 2 year disabled hanging pass, via DMV. We found out later that AAA has some expedited system after the Doctor’s approval. A friend post op used the AAA system and had the hanging pass in a few days.
A younger relative was having problems getting a vehicle gifted from his family, properly titled in his name. He went on line with AAA and in about 5 minutes, his new title was on line and a hard copy was being mailed to him.
The business that does the California smog testing for a low fee will submit your approved data. So in minutes, you have your new approved paperwork and they attach the sticker for you. No Screwing around at a DMV office or online with a semi hostile interface.
Apparently, there are people owned and operated places which approve passports and the so called Real Driver’s licenses in minutes not at a hostile DMV.
I loved Hudson and Landry...
I liked “Bruiser Larue, world’s greatest football player”...
Social media is real simple.
If you are not their customer, you are their product.
Period.
My 80 something wife retired shortly after she was seventy. She was gifted a smartphone for free to her and for ever.
She was warned by relatives of all ages and friends to be careful of what she said or sent electronically.
After about a month, she was having similar interactions like the pizza guy in this tale trying to order a pizza.
Whatever she or her phone contacts mentioned a product or service. Usually, in less than 24 hours, she was contacted by some vendor trying to sell her what was discussed. Often they had an accent that wasn’t an American accent.
Recently, she has had a young sounding voice wanting talk to his grandmother. That, often becomes very funny to listen to.
OK, but where is the joke?
Kind of funny, but sadly, more prophetic.
Spot on! How far we have fallen as a nation.
It’s ridiculous that when you buy shoes online, the ads on webpages are mostly for shoes. Excuse me but I bought shoes. I don’t need shoes.
I went to one of those private DMV places a few months ago to get something updated on my license. Cost a few bucks but I was in and out in about five minutes.
A few years ago, my wife and I were driving somewhere, and I happened to say something to the effect that Adirondack chairs are more comfortable that they look. Hadn’t even thought about Adirondack chairs in years, it was just one of those things that pops into your head. Her smartphone was in her purse, turned on but not being used. Within a few hours ads were appearing on our home computer for guess what.
I have an old flip phone, but it stays turned off in a drawer unless I specifically need to use it.
They make money by sending you the ads.
all very true!
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