Posted on 04/27/2022 3:15:52 PM PDT by DFG
Twitter will be going through some changes in the coming weeks as it transitions from a thought police enforcement zone to an actual social media platform. One big change will be the removal of employees who don't understand the difference between disagreement and hate speech. But don't worry! We see you and we hear you, former Twitter employees!
Here are some new jobs that fit your expansive skillset:
1) White House Press Secretary: Wow! What a prestigious position! Too bad there can be only one. You'll have to fight it out with your several hundred colleagues for this one.
2) Person who dresses up as the Easter Bunny to secretly run the country: What little boy, girl, or non-binary "they" hasn't dreamed of growing up to be a shadow president in an uncomfortable costume?
3) North Korean General: This job is just so perfect for you.
4) Jr. Pronoun Enforcer at your local middle school: Sorry, no internet anonymity this time. You'll have to call MAGA hat-wearing Suzy Mayworth a gender racist to her face.
5) The person at Pfizer who pays test subjects to keep quiet: Meet interesting people with strange and exotic new mutations!
6) Elite Hacker for Chinese State Media: It's a full-time job deleting pictures of Tiananmen Square from the Internet. Job security! Nice!
7) Cashier for the CNN+ "Going Out Of Business Extravaganza!": This is a temporary position.
8) Chief of Staff to the Vice President: Also a temporary position.
9) Disney Groomer: You're probably already doing this for free. Why not get paid?
10) Clown: Be the Bozo you were born to be!
11) Tesla Parking Attendant at Twitter HQ: The new Twitter overlord is most merciful.
12) Chinese Movie Editing: It's like normal movie editing but you cut out all the LGBT content from Hollywood films. It's censorship in the other direction. You got this!
Or just go work at Google I guess.
Calcutta sewer diver.
Job pumping gas in Oregon or New Jersey.
Babylon Bee, the honest news source.
Dead body disposal crew member in any major city of India.
“removal of employees who don’t understand the difference between disagreement and hate speech”
Libtards hate everyone who doesn’t agree with them - some of the least tolerant and most closed minded dingbats on the planet 🤪
.....Clown: Be the Bozo you already are!......
Yup!!!!
Wouldn’t they fit right in at Fakebook?
Only if they've shown potential and are ready to move up in the world.
There must be concentration camps somewhere that could use a few new guards.
Elizabeth Warren ethics coordinator.
Coder
Prop person on Alec Baldwin’s movie set.
Land surveyor for the Ukraine-Russia borderline.
Food truck vendor in downtown Caracas.
“What would you say you do around here?”
Or how about a job in one of those curry fart/BO smelling Kolkata "social security" call centers where they swindle old people out of their bank accounts?
I for one welcome our new African-American Warlord.
Mask Nazi
10) Clown: Be the Bozo you were born to be!
Bozo was a classy clown!
Do Twitter moderators actually get paid?
I’m a moderator on another forum and haven’t been paid in at least 11 years.
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