Posted on 10/05/2021 2:46:14 PM PDT by DFG
ASHBURN, VA—At a Loudoun County school board meeting last night, a heroic FBI agent violently tackled a parent who was expressing concern over his child's education during open comments.
This came after Attorney General Merrick Garland directed the FBI to crack down on parents who violently and menacingly dare to question the holy authority of the state when it comes to educating kids.
Since the FBI is highly experienced in covering up for sick perverts who use their power to corrupt impressionable children, Garland thought this was right up their alley. According to sources, undercover agents will infiltrate these cells of concerned parents by pretending they are parents who care about kids too.
"So, um, yeah... I don't think you should be assigning pornographic and racist reading materials to young kids," began local parent Fred Brown at the meeting. "Maybe you should stick to math and reading and --OOF!" In a flash, undercover Agent Sam Rutters dove on stage and took the concerned dad to the ground with one blow.
The parents in attendance all gasped in horror while the school board cheered and then gathered around to spray pepper spray in Brown's eyes.
"I'm no hero, I'm just doing my job," said agent Rutters after making the tackle and forcefully subduing the squirming parent on the floor. "I'm just doing what any mercenary hired to protect the state's absolute authority over your children would do!"
The Bee stings me again!
Parody...News...Parody...News
How can you even tell anymore?
Truly, Biden and his cronies will brook no dissent from their diktats. The Attorney General has, in my opinion, violated the Constitution and the 1st Amendment’s guarantee of freedom of speech.
That one pea may soon cost $1 or more.
Lol. Started reading and almost thougjt it was true...because it is close to becoming true
Buckle up campers
Ham-fisted “satire”
It’s much easier to tackle defenseless women than go after real criminals. Melbourne police learned this lesson as well.
I guess it would be funny if it weren’t so possible.
At first, I thought this was a real news story. It is so believable...
Satire? really? Any bets this is a TRUE Story within 3 months?
Ya gotta check the source as the headline sounds plausible.
Really, these are the guys who sent 16 agents, (as I recall ) to investigate a NASCAR garage door hanger. A parent with the wrong attitude should be on top of their list.
Love it. Ridicule is a powerful weapon against evil.
Yeah, that was a close one...too close to reality
EPIC meme of the team.
In all fairness, I stole it off Twitter.
The Bee portends what may actually come! In a partial read, I am not laffing much anymore.
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