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Pelosi Says She Will Arrest Any Congressperson Caught With Copy Of The Constitution
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/03/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/03/2021 11:25:19 AM PDT by DFG

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi announced today that she will strictly be enforcing her anti-Constitution rule at the Capitol and that any congressperson caught carrying a copy of the document will be arrested.

"I've instructed Capitol Police to arrest anyone with this dangerous document," she said. "It has harmful misinformation in there about how you can just go about doing whatever you want, which is against the public health. This is for your own good. Anyone with the documents will be arrested and sent to jail without trial, as this is a public health emergency."

Experts applauded the move, praising Pelosi's courage to "do whatever is needed" to protect the public from all the infectious freedoms that have been proven by the experts to spread infection. "The Founding Fathers could have never foreseen people getting sick and dying," said the experts. "We're sure they'd totally understand the need to scrap the Constitution in this instance."

Luckily, no Democrats or Republicans were caught with a copy of the Constitution.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; capitol; congress; constitution; pelosi
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1 posted on 08/03/2021 11:25:19 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Darn.. I believed this.


2 posted on 08/03/2021 11:26:57 AM PDT by Irish Eyes
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To: DFG

Satire today, fact tomorrow.


3 posted on 08/03/2021 11:28:01 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum ("Communism is not love. Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy." ― Mao Zedong)
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To: Irish Eyes

“Have to arrest them to find out what is in it”


4 posted on 08/03/2021 11:28:40 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Lean on Joe Biden to follow Donald Trump's example and donate his annual salary to charity.)
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To: Irish Eyes

Either the Bee is getting good at making sarcasm sound real, or the Dims are getting so off the rails it’s hard to distinguish them from the absurd.


5 posted on 08/03/2021 11:28:49 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: DFG

She was just warming up when she ripped up Trump’s SOTU speech. At least she didn’t spit on the pieces before using them to wipe her bottom.


6 posted on 08/03/2021 11:30:28 AM PDT by FirstFlaBn
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To: DFG

That’s the last straw...Man the ramparts...calling all militias...Never mind, wife just squared me away and gave me the “stop drinking” lecture.


7 posted on 08/03/2021 11:30:30 AM PDT by PerConPat (A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground - Mencken)
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To: Irish Eyes

Me too! Glad I’m not the only one. Nothing about that woman would surprise me.


8 posted on 08/03/2021 11:35:54 AM PDT by Rollee
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To: DFG

Ha ha I almost jumped on this. But in reality I can imagine sweet San Fran Nan saying something like this.


9 posted on 08/03/2021 11:37:18 AM PDT by Karliner (Heb 4:12 Rom 8:28 Rev 3, "...This is the end of the beginning." Churchill)
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To: DFG

Once again, I was under the impression the BB was satire.


10 posted on 08/03/2021 11:37:47 AM PDT by Obadiah
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To: DFG

11 posted on 08/03/2021 11:43:46 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DFG

Sadly it sounds more like something she would do other than political satire.


12 posted on 08/03/2021 11:44:38 AM PDT by DaiHuy (May God save the country, for it is evident the people will not! Millard Fillmore)
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To: Irish Eyes

When I read it, I could almost hear her voice.... Lol!


13 posted on 08/03/2021 11:46:53 AM PDT by FreeInWV
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To: Tell It Right

The absurd is now better written and not as moronic as reality when dealing with Dems.


14 posted on 08/03/2021 11:47:35 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: FreeInWV

And see her tearing up paper while doing it.


15 posted on 08/03/2021 11:48:49 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: DFG; Hillarys Gate Cult; Karliner; Irish Eyes; a fool in paradise; Tell It Right
The Constitution proclaims truly dangerous thoughts, must be banned, and requires possession to be criminalized for her and people like her to prosper. True Americans must be eradicated. These two paragraphs from an essay about the Constitutional Convention illustrate why to me.

The delegates found their motivation for scrutinizing proposals from political theories of the Enlightenment emphasizing individual human liberties synthesized into property as defined most immediately by John Locke, William Blackstone, and James Madison. Here property was first sourced internally in personal self-protection, opinion, religion, communications, use of abilities to labor physically and mentally, and in conscience. Only through the exercise of those liberties can one acquire the traditional manifestations of property.

The outcome represented an extraordinarily perilous experiment placing primary faith in the inherent natural liberties of imperfect individuals constrained by a limited government; a government requiring members to recognize the dilemma of their own imperfection. Since the emergence of independent colonies and for all time Americans would be defined as sovereign individuals finding their identity in exercising pre-existing intangible liberties within bounds of voluntary self-restraint and accompanied by the hazards and uncertainties of personal freedoms. Their ethnicity, gender, class, and race would always be secondary expressions of humanity.

16 posted on 08/03/2021 12:13:14 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: DFG

Get a free pocket constitution from Hillsdale College.

https://lp.hillsdale.edu/free-pocket-constitution/


17 posted on 08/03/2021 12:16:11 PM PDT by Piers
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To: DFG
guess that means the Bill of Rights is out of the question also...

damn headline got me till i saw the Bee, because she's that friggin nuts!

18 posted on 08/03/2021 12:52:31 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. P144:1)
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To: DFG

After she comes back from her 7 week vacation ,LOL


19 posted on 08/03/2021 1:03:21 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: DFG

If that’s true that bitch needs to have her meds adjusted. More prozac.


20 posted on 08/03/2021 1:29:49 PM PDT by Rappini (Compromise has its place. It's called second.)
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