Posted on 07/03/2021 10:42:08 PM PDT by texas booster
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move to save tax dollars, U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland has replaced federal executions with bus tickets to Chicago. The move received praise from both sides of the political aisle, as a $60 bus ticket per inmate will free up millions to be spent on more important issues like funding a border wall in Egypt.
Chicago’s Mayor Lori Lightfoot praised the decision to free those poor, innocent federal criminals into the peaceful bastion of Chicago, where there has been no violence during her tenure. Then, speaking louder in order to be heard over the gunfire, Mayor Lightfoot clarified that the bodies of gun victims piling up around them were the result of racism.
When a blood-soaked reporter stated, “Ummm, what,” Mayor Lightfoot justifiably accused him of racism and sexism.
Inspired by AG Garland’s brilliance, Texas Governor Abbott has begun filling Chicago-bound buses with residents of Austin.
Happy 4th of July, our Independence Day!
Now that’s funny!
You really needed to add “(satite)” at the end of that headline? Jokes aside, I would hope everyone here could tell.
Execution is more humane than sending someone to Chicago.
Sending someone to Chicago is a form of execution, for some of those sent (i.e. criminals) and the citizens there.
Made me laugh out loud (LOL).
Dumped off on the Southside in the middle of the night would be considered “cruel and inhumane” by SCOTUS.
South Chicago is the most dangerous place i’ve ever been in my life. Sheltered young and stupid white priviledge stopped at a Toys R Us off the Interstate to pit stop for a bathroom. Wasn’t there very long (seconds) before i realized that i was a single nonPOC in a bathroom that had so much new and old blood spatter that it could have been in a pig slaughterhouse.
Left in a flash; i realized that my reaction time was faster by seconds than the assembled crowd of equally shocked Amish. You might say they were thinking…slow enough that Gimme Three Steps had time to leave.
No, i did not pee. For hours.
The equivalent of a “trip to the train station” on Yellowstone?
I haven’t seen an episode of “Yellowstone”, but looked it up.
I suspect that many locations in Chicago could be stand-ins for the TV show.
I’m old enough to remember when The Babylon Bee was a satire site. Now it’s a real news site.
Sad, isn’t it?
Tried to watch one of President Stolen’s speech’s today, and I thought, “is anything that he says sincere?”
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