Posted on 04/12/2021 2:35:07 PM PDT by Starman417
In a bold move, United Airlines declared that “diversity is at the forefront” of its pilot program and pledged that 50% of their new 5,000 pilots will either be women or people of color. You have to admire the insanity of that plan because it is so incredibly stupid that you know a liberal was involved in its conception. I can just imagine the meeting at United that birthed the concept of making flight deck diversity Job #1. Scotty woke up one morning and wanted to make some changes.
Scotty: “Does anyone have an idea of how to destroy United? I mean really tarnish our image? Come on guys and gals, lets think out of the box.” Voice #1 from the back of the room: “Why don’t we drag a 69-year-old man off of a flight after we break his nose, knock out some of his teeth and give him a concussion?” Scotty, throws Voice #1 a small pack of peanuts. “I like the cut of your jib but that was done in 2017. Remember? We overbooked the flight and needed to accommodate 4 United crew members flying to another city? We had to drag that dude down the aisle and his belly was handing out!” Voice #2 from the back of the room: “Hey lets kill some of their beloved pets!” Scotty: “Done and doner. Remember when we forced that passenger to stuff her puppy Kokito in an overhead bin and the dog suffocated? That dog had a stupid name anyway!” Scotty: “Come on folks, put your backs into it. Give me something. Voice #3 from the back of the room: “Hey, can we force a female to hold her two-year-old on her lap for 4 hours because we sold the kids seat to a standby passenger?” Scotty: “You’re killing me here folks. We already did that. Come up with something new that will really get peoples attention.” Voice #4 from the back of the room: “We could require that 50% of the next 5,000 pilots we hire must be either women or people of color.” Scotty was now excited. He was really tired of putting safety first and now, finally, diversity could play a major role in determining what pilots were qualified to set foot on the flight deck. Woke Scotty finally realized that the pilots appearance was much more important than his/her flight skills. Hallelujah!
As a passenger I think that United made a great decision. Just think of the possibilities. Denzel Washington could be the next United pilot welcoming you on the plane. It doesn’t matter if he lacks the skill set to fly a plane. What matters is the fact that he played an amazing but flawed airline pilot in a movie and really looked cool in his uniform. Okay, in the movie Denzel had a drinking problem, but so what. You know it would be trey cool to meet the dude and maybe share a pitcher of beer with him before the flight. Mindy Kaling would also be a great pilot. She is female, funny and United gets to check off two boxes on their wish list: woman and person of color. What a coup.
I do have one more suggestion for Scotty who salivates about achieving diversity on the flight deck. Why stop with females and minorities? If you want the flight deck to accurately reflect the diverse group of passengers sitting in coach, why not train old people to fly your jumbo jets? I’m 73, and I really want to be a high paid United pilot because I can use the cash to buy a new grill and I’m tired of sitting in my living room watching reruns of Firefly and eating Cheetos.
(Excerpt) Read more at floppingaces.net...
From my reading, the only smart decision United has made in years was not block middle seats And sell each plane to 100% occupancy unlike every other airline who did some form of blocking middle seats or reduced capacity.
No. Get a job.
We're not buying you any more crack.
I want them to hire blind pilots and wait staff.
I want them to hire quadraplegics as pilots.
I want them to hire clinically measured, low iq people,for pilots.
If you’re gonna destroy the company for diversity, may as well go total diversidiot.
Sadly, Boeing said the same thing, that they wanted 20% of all new hires to be black even though less than 1% of the population are blacks who graduate engineering schools.
I want to see United and Boeing hire the same people as the executives.
50% isn’t a coincidence. The other 50% will be old white guys they keep around to be in the cockpit and make sure the affirmative action hires don’t kill everyone by hitting the wrong button.
kinda wrecks that united we stand divided we fall thing...
The job has become little more than a glorified bus driver and the pay has matched that. The current Wuhanic Plague Scamdemic has chased away prospective pilots since the pilot succession has frozen in place.
United Airlines is going to lower the standards for pilots under the guise of "Equal Opportunity".
This will result in higher failure rates for their diversity selectees. This will be considered racist. The solution will be to lower standards. However, the final result will be more diversity, and remember diversity is out strength.
I have no need to fly United and will give them an even wider berth in the future.
“Taser! Taser! Taser!”
“Oops!”
united we fly, united we fall?
First thing to teach: mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
This has to be a policy by a major competitor airline or else the communist party CCP to destroy, get rid of United.
I can’t imagine that our military isn’t doing the same.
DANG! You beat me to it...I was going to post:
"Flaps! Flaps! Flaps!" "oops".
The most sought after employee in almost all high tech outfits these days is a black person of the female gender.
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