Posted on 04/05/2021 3:27:40 PM PDT by CheshireTheCat
For the young ones… and the mature, as needs be…
Many people marry for the wrong reasons and end up single, often with obligations, and holding a cynical view of love and relationships. But a short, simple test can help guide you toward what a successful marriage may look like.
If you and your potential spouse can both answer “yes” to most or all four of these questions, then you may end up with a great marriage. Of course, there are no guarantees. Life always has a way of surprising us.
Ask yourself each question. Can you say yes to each?
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
2) Would you like to become more like this person?
3) If you were to have a child with someone, would you want to have a child with this person?
4) If the child grew up to be exactly like this person, would that be OK?
I once got a call from my wife. She was at the home of a friend whose daughter was going to be married in one week to her high school sweetheart. She was visiting her mother, crying and upset, unsure whether the marriage was a good idea....
(Excerpt) Read more at ricochet.com ...
I do not disagree with that statement.
GMTA...lol
It will be 61 years this coming Friday that wife & I got married...
The priest asked a couple of questions... We both answered yes...
We did not have the nine (9) kids we planned on... (Wife had 9 brothers and sisters...)
However three was fun and, now, lots & lots of grandchildren and great grandchildren...
Also, importantly, they are all “deplorable” and fully prepared..😀
I'd say don't overthink it. If you try to think through everything that is involved in a long life together and a family, the ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies, it could seem very daunting to young people.
Oh! Important question.
Does your son know about the things that worry you?
If so, you could ignore it, but I would say to my child, “You know that I’m concerned about XYZ. Have you given any thought to that?”
If he doesn’t know, and it’s serious, maybe you should take the plunge and tell him. He might be glad you did.
Shouldn’t the fun zone box and wife zone box be switched in that the eventual wife won’t be as objectively hot as the fun and a bit crazier types?
Or are you saying that the wife prospect will start to seem hotter when one appreciates her more than the fun prospects who might be better-looking?
I'm very glad you were able to work through your prior troubles.
He's 28. He's just started a new job that could be a career launcher rather than the mundane jobs he's had previously. He understands that. I'm thinking the best approach might be to suggest to him that he wait a while to get married so he has the freedom to get settled in the new job/career. Then the hope would be that he either runs into trouble with the current girlfriend (they already broke up once about a year ago) or meets somebody new in the interim. That could be a legitimate way to keep it from being personal regarding the girlfriend.
That's so funny because it's true!
I've relocated out of state twice now for work and somehow the mother-in-law always ends up in our neighborhood eventually! It's uncanny how that works.
Now overall our marriage has been very good but beware of the "helpful grandma" syndrome. If she is single, she will always want to be near her daughter and grandkids just to "help out". I'm convinced that my MIL will outlive the both of us. She'll definitely outlive me anyhow.
Wife Goggles are real.
Another key point. Is your future marriage partner a DemocRAT?
The one thing I will divulge is that she has anxiety issues. They broke up over this a while back. I was pleased when that happened. When he told me last year that they were together again I asked what had changed. He told me that she's now on anxiety medication. Yikes! I told him that I like her very much personally, but it's not a good idea to get permanently involved with someone you already know has psychological issues. That didn't seem to have any impact. She's very pretty and I'm sure the sex is great for him. He's also at that age where many of his friends are getting married so there's pressure there.
Never stuck your duck in crazy.
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
Men always hope their wife never changes and women always hope to change their man.
No kidding. Do NOT marry a fixer-upper. The only person you can change is yourself.
I think a lot of women confuse “helping” with “changing” so here’s the quick test. It’s “helping” when you are assisting him in meeting his goals at his request. It’s “changing” when when you are trying to get him to meet your goals through various emotional manipulations.
The part I like is that the bride the writer referenced was told by her parents not to think about the sunk cost of the wedding. If she didn’t want to marry the guy, don’t.
My late father told me the night before my wedding, “If you decide you don’t want to marry him, don’t. We’ll have the party anyway!” He was a great man.
I married him. 32 years and ten children, it’s been pretty okay.
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