Posted on 02/01/2021 9:17:22 AM PST by John Semmens
Concerned that COVID fatigue may undermine adherence to the government's rube goldberg concoction of health edicts, disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci is looking closely at the Chinese anal test protocol.
"With reports now indicating that the shutdowns mandated around the world may have killed more people than the virus, that the CDC's recommendations against using hydroxychloroquine were mistaken, and the seemingly hypocritical behavior of many government officials from Gov. Gavin Newsom in California to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in Washington, too many people have become jaded and skeptical about the pandemic," Fauci said. "We need something dramatic to regenerate a healthy fear of contracting the disease."
"Fortunately, developments in China may be showing us the way," the Doctor declared. "The Chinese government now says that anal testing for COVID is more accurate than the nasal swabbing we have been doing. They have set up anal swabbing stations at airports and other transportation venues where all who wish to travel must pass an anal swab test before being permitted to board a vehicle. Police are authorized to randomly pull people off the streets and swab them. Such humiliating probes dramatically make the case for obedience to the government's rules surrounding the pandemic—especially the rule to stay home. I think we can benefit by replicating their procedures here."
Fauci confessed to "drafting an Executive Order mandating anal swabbing and slipping it into the stack of documents intended for President Biden's signature. With any luck it will be signed within the next few days. The number of lives it may save could be astronomical."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=427328.0
Not satire.
….And Fed.gov is giving the Lincoln Project $100 million to run the pilot program. They will focus on boys high schools and sports teams.
Will make drive-thru Covid Testing very interesting.................
He probably likes to watch.
Fauci probably wants to do the tests himself.
They could use these swabs to reach his nostrils and gather a test sample.
Don’t give them ideas.
Anal swabs? Finally, useful employment for Adam Schiff.
#RainnWilson #TheOffice #Utopia
Rainn Wilson Shares How Dwight Schrute Would Handle The Dystopian World Of ‘Utopia’
•Sep 23, 2020
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFhZ-fVCVWk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnqq3faJGyQ
Hysterically more likely than not!
Fauci Calls for Anal COVID Tests [semi-satire]
I don’t think falsey could take the test any way. His head would be in the way.
Women and children first? Fauci is a perv.
OK...that made me clinch up.
They are still swabbing your nasal passages, they are just coming in at the other end.
The queer pedos at the Lincoln Project are down with that.
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