NFL Demands Social Justice Training for Fans [semi-satire]

Alleging that "football cannot be properly understood by white fans," National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell is scheduling a "social justice training session" to be aired on NBC on September 9th. The program will feature players reciting how much they have suffered under America's systemic racism.

"Many white fans seem to think that being able to earn millions of dollars playing professional football is a dream job," Goodell observed. "They are oblivious to the optics of mostly white fans gaining vicarious enjoyment from the tremendous suffering each black player must endure for their entertainment. This has a disturbing resemblance to the antebellum era when whites profited from the exploitation of black slaves. It's time that the truth about our brutal game is acknowledged."

"Ideally, social justice training ought to be a mandatory prerequisite to attending or watching a game," Goodell opined. "Someday we may be able to implement such a requirement. For now, we are offering the course kind of like an 'elective' and hope that fans will voluntarily take advantage of the opportunity to educate themselves."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

Mr. “GOOD?el is screwing tighter and tighter on the lid of the coffin of the formerly fascinating existence of the NFL.
He has just labeled millions of “football fans” as uncaring BIGOTS because they so enjoyed their weekly watching of football games.
He names ONLY former NFL fans as nasty people, because those who (may) watch MLB, MHL, and the NBA are not, play by play, cheering and applauding the intense suffering of those athletes
“NFL” now stands for “No Further Loyalty.”

From the article: "Many white fans seem to think that being able to earn millions of dollars playing professional football is a dream job," Goodell observed. "They are oblivious to the optics of mostly white fans gaining vicarious enjoyment from the tremendous suffering each black player must endure for their entertainment. This has a disturbing resemblance to the antebellum era when whites profited from the exploitation of black slaves. It's time that the truth about our brutal game is acknowledged."

Can you imagine someone so mentally deficient and / or corrupt as to avoid the obvious?

"Mr. Goodell, your use of the term "slave" to describe performers getting paid millions of dollars is an insult to those who endured slavery. If they're slaves, why are they even paid, much less in the millions?"

"Mr. Goodell, if this is exploitation of black slaves, why are there white players on the teams as well?"

"Mr. Goodell, if this is exploitation of black slaves, why are there black people in the audience and being targeted by NFL advertisers?"

"Mr. Goodell, if this is exploitation of black slaves, why are you profiting from it? How much money have you made off of those YOU describe as slaves? How morally bankrupt can you be to continue and not resign?"

"Mr. Goodell, if this is exploitation of black slaves, you're admitting that NFL advertisers are profiting from it. Why are you not publicly calling out the chairmen of the boards of the companies who insist on exploiting black slaves via the NFL? Where are the boycotts and protests in front of the corporate offices of companies that advertise with the NFL in order to exploit black slaves?"

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