Posted on 07/17/2018 8:07:35 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can Look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes ***************************
and from Mike LaGrone:
What goes: Screech, zoom, screech, zoom, screech, zoom?
A blond going through a flashing red light.
What do you call 4 blondes at a four way stop intersection????????
Eternity....
Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel????
She kept trying to blow the horn.......
Please remove this thread...
“Please remove this thread...”
Heh, my blonde wife (MENSA type) loves ‘em.
Artificial Intelligence.
You’re just a spoil sport.
Why?
Blonde, brunette and redhead are alone on an island...They are trying to figure out how to get off...
The blonde sets out to swim off...
The redhead builds a flimsy raft to try and float off...
The brunette walks across the bridge....
*grins*
*ROFL*
“OK. I want you to paint the porch. Everything is in the garage. I want you to scrape it, sand the rough spots, fill in any holes, one coat of primer and two coats of paint. Can you handle it? I’ll give you $500.”
She says, “No problem,” and she heads to the garage. After 9 hours, covered with sweat and paint, she knocks on the door and says “All finished.”
“you scrapped, sanded, filled in the holes? “Yes” “Primer and 2 coats of paint? “Yes” Handing over the money, the owner says, “I’ll check it out. Come back next week, I may have more work for you.” The blonde smiled and said, “And oh, by the way, it’s not a Porsche, it’s a Maserati.”
Why are brunettes always so proud of their hair?
Because it always matches their mustache....
If you’re “triggered” by this, please hang out at DU from now on. We practice free speech here (generally).
turn a blonde upside down ?
brunette with bad breath
Don’t read it.
These jokes are as old as the hills and have evolved from Irish, “pollock”, black, Jews, and now they are Blonde.
Don’t worry in a couple of years they will all just shift to “millennials.”
Wow that is an old joke, I don’t mean I’ve heard it before... I mean a joke that involves leaving a note on your door step for the milkman goes back a ways!
Q. How many Blonde jokes are there?
A. Four. The rest are true stories.
I once was following a BMW in Alexandria, VA with Kennedy bumper stickers on his bumper and windows. I thought, another liberal, until I got close and read the fine print. “ A blond in every pond. “
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