Kerry Wishes US Had Its Own Ayatollah [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 May 2015 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Admitting that he's feeling some frustration over possible Congressional interference with the agreement with Iran that he's been working on for most of this year, Secretary of State John Kerry avowed that "it would be a lot easier if we had our own Ayatollah—someone whose say so was the final word."

"It's an uneven playing field," Kerry complained. "Iran's supreme leader can just issue an edict and everyone in the Iranian government has to go along. President Obama doesn't have this luxury. He can issue an edict, but still has to put up with the possibility that Congress will tamper with it by trying to amend the terms or restrict the appropriations that may be necessary to implement it."

"Archaic procedures initiated over 200 years ago inserted multiple levels of authority into the US Constitution," Kerry observed. "These checks on the President's authority make our government less efficient. Rather than enabling one person to smoothly set the course for our nation's policies, multiple contending, and sometimes disagreeable voices are allowed to have a say on matters of the utmost delicacy."

The Secretary held out the hope that "President Obama may proceed on his own authority as sovereign" and that "Congress will not complicate the issue by insisting on cumbersome procedures that are, quite frankly, an unnecessary bother in our fast-moving world."

In related news, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ken) assured President Obama that "I am doing my best to stifle unwanted Congressional interference with the Iranian negotiations, but I cannot guarantee success. Perhaps someone from the FBI or IRS could contact some of the Senate's less pliant members and persuade them of the importance of supporting our joint efforts."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/175616-2015-05-01-semi-news-semi-satire-may-3-2015-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[Slings and Arrows]

I’m glad this one had a “satire” tag - it’s too believable otherwise.

[Berlin_Freeper]

John Kerry looks like a creepy Ayatollah.

[SWAMPSNIPER]

[DuncanWaring]

Are you sure this is actually satire?

[Texas Eagle]

"...so I'm here to implore Congress to get out of the President's way and let him conduct the war in Vietnam and to allow him to carry out his other Presidential duties as he sees fit."

[fatnotlazy]

I could almost believe this if I didn’t know it was you.

Thanks again for the ping.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Only semi, John?

[EDINVA]

not even “semi” satire. Unfortunately

[Mark]

"it would be a lot easier if we had our own Ayatollah—someone whose say so was the final word."

UNLESS we have a Conservative as President.