State Department Insists US Is Not at War with ISIS

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Aug 2014 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The beheading of American journalist James Foley, the massacre of thousands of Christians, Kurds, and Shiite Muslims, and ISIS’s vow that its flag will soon fly over the White House does not mean the United States is at war with them, says Deputy State Department spokesperson Marie Harf.

“ISIS may think they are at war with us, but that doesn’t mean we are at war with them,” Harf insisted. “As you may have observed, President Obama sternly denounced Foley’s televised beheading. He has done his part to inspire others to take the actions needed to cope with the situation. There’s no need for him to do more.”

Harf cited the President’s immediate resumption of his golfing vacation and fund-raising as proof that “the President is fully in control of his agenda. He will not be forced into engaging in hostilities with ISIS.”

What Obama is willing to consider is “cutting back on the assistance we’ve been providing ISIS in its battle against Assad in Syria. As concerned as we are about the tyrannical abuses of the Assad government we need to reconsider whether aiding his enemies is the prudent thing to do.”

The Deputy State Department spokesperson also defended the President’s decision to reveal confidential information about a failed attempt to rescue Foley even though the revelation jeopardizes potential future attempts to rescue other hostages. “Even if a rescue were to be successful the number of lives saved would be minuscule,” Harf pointed out. “In contrast, a widespread perception that the President didn’t do enough on behalf of Foley is clearly undermining confidence in his Administration. With the off-year elections ahead that is far more damaging than the forgone hypothetical opportunity to save a few of the remaining hostages.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2014/08/23/congressman-wants-to-ban-body-armor/

[Arrowhead1952]

“the President is fully in control of his agenda. He will not be forced into engaging in hostilities with ISIS.”

In everyday language, pres - - ent golfer in chief doesn't give a Shiite.

[Chode]

“ISIS may think they are at war with us, but that doesn’t mean we are at war with them,”

and there it is...

[A CA Guy]

Clinton wasn’t at war with Bin Laden when they declared war on us before 9-11 either.
Bill did not get rid of Laden the several times he had him leading IMO to all our radical Islamic problems and monies dedicated to cleaning up a Clinton mistake.

[GOYAKLA]

Does the initials P T, have meaning to you?

;^} “Harf”, is how a hairlip dog barks. ;^}

[smokingfrog]

I’d like to know the answer to that question myself. It’s hard to believe anyone could be that gullible or ignorant.

[Smokin' Joe]

Careful...if they shift just a little more in DC you can get paid to write their talking points. (scary, that!)

[ex-snook]

War is when Congress formally declares it.

[entropy12]

only meaning of PT for me is Physical Training.

[fatnotlazy]

“As you may have observed, President Obama sternly denounced Foley’s televised beheading. He has done his part to inspire others to take the actions needed to cope with the situation. There’s no need for him to do more.”

***

Lots of truth in the above. Obama made his speech, then off to golf. Let someone else deal with the matter.

Thanks again for the ping.

[WayneS]

“In contrast, a widespread perception that the President didn’t do enough on behalf of Foley is clearly undermining confidence in his Administration. With the off-year elections ahead that is far more damaging than the forgone hypothetical opportunity to save a few of the remaining hostages."

Why, Mr. Semmens, have you stepped up the brutality of your satire?

Excellent, though, as usual.

[crusadersoldier]

When satire becomes reality ...