Posted on 01/17/2013 9:18:29 AM PST by virgil283
"And so I began to search my memory, and I could not recall a single adult male in my boyhood speaking to me or my friends in such tones. I cannot recall any men routinely squatting down or leaning over to make themselves appear closer to my own height. I cannot remember any men putting a breathless wheezing whisper into their words. I cannot bring to mind a single incident in which a grown man opened his eyes and mouth as wide as possible and talked to me like some grinning, masculine Norma Desmond. What I do remember are the grown men who picked me up and lifted me to their naturally imposing height, instead of lowering themselves to mine. And such lifting was always accompanied by a feeling of safety and strength. I’m pretty sure (and confirmed by my wife’s memories) that I never talked to our boys or to my nephews in such a manner. And I know very well that I have never vocally nor vertically neutered myself when interacting with my grandchildren.
The men of today, both young and old, have been poisoned, it seems. Poisoned by the feminist doctrine that has been mixed into every social expression, event, and philosophy. Poisoned by the erasing of distinctions between the sexes. Poisoned by the need to be nonthreatening and never, ever overtly masculine. Poisoned by the need to be liked by their own children and grandchildren – liked like schoolyard chums, I mean.
"The males of today have a horror of many things; the horror of not being a man does not seem to be listed in the catalog of fears"
The chickification of America is complete.
Women by choice, men by meek acquiescence.
Not today. Not in this environment where you could be accused of a sex crime for simply touching a kid, or adult for that matter.
Sorry, this article is mostly a load of crap. What father does not talk in an excited tone to his children such as "Would you like a cookie?" or "Do you see that bunny?". Yes, there has been a lot of feminization of men, but just because I stoop down and raise the pitch of my voice a little to get their attention does not mean I'm a second mom.
Too bad the author was apparently raised by East German police.
Schools have gone a long way in neutering males. The intent is to make them cowardly and compliant. That’s about all that schools enforce and “teach” these days—compliance to the “authorities”.
There are some where these “lessons” didn’t take, however.
Real men are in a bible believing churches. Want to find out? Go there!
Many years later I was seriously dating a girl. She told me that when she first watched me go by she "liked how I walk".
When my grandson was still in high school he had ROTC after classes. I would go to pick him up, park, and watch them drill.
He walks like a man.
Why should you talk to them like that, they aren’t idiots?
I think the point is that today’s father NEVER stands up.
If you can’t admit that we have a father problem in our culture . . .
Nope—Both my mother and wife consider me a barbarian.
(My wife likes barbarians when it comes to gishing bugs.)
This wasn’t the absolutely most misguided article that I’ve ever read, but it came close. Especially the comments on the voices when talking to children and kneeling to speak to children.
One of my fondest memories is being 10 years old and winning a local science fair. Afterwards many of my father’s friends came by to congratulate me. They were predominately Air Force officers at the Academy with a few civil service (like my father), and to a man, they knelt to speak to me.
Uh, this trend toward pansification has not impacted my house, and I have three sons.
I agree the article is a little over the top in reading into the vocal tones and body language but there is a valid, broader point about adults putting kids on pedestals. Even in my own family, my step-mother cooks special food for the grandkids if she knows they don’t like what she is cooking for the adults. I know a number of families where the kids don’t have regular chores, or where the kids get to pick the place where the family goes out to eat. Christmas gift giving to kids has gone out of control in a number of houses — I see sob stories in the paper where parents are crying that they can’t get their kids what the kids want, as if you are a bad parent because you can’t get the kid everything on his or her Christmas list.
And part of the reason for this is that a number of parents never really grew up. They are immature themselves. I don’t think, as the author does, that it results so much from Feminism as it does from the destruction of personal responsibility in our culture. No one is required to be self-sufficient or required to account for their actions.
Good——all we have to do is get conservatives to educate and control the info that their children get. Quit supporting the Left!
This culture is toxic-—it is true-—but there are ways to instill Virtue and Truth in the young. Plenty of resources and Classical books. But, I admit, it is hard when all institutions are trying to crush you and convert your children to Satanism/occultism. The media, their visuals and music, is extremely powerful and seductive.
Mrs WBill has a number of gay friends. I forget how we got on the topic, but she mentioned that they all were "As much of a man" as me.
Insulted, I replied that gender isn't what makes you a man. And, that if she didn't understand that, then she never would.
That particular conversation has never arisen again. :-)
I agree with you 100%. My father was truly old school. WWII vet who pulled himself up by his boot straps and made something of himself. The displays of so-called manliness that would impress this author, my father would have dismissed as being simply being low class. There was even a phrase for it amongst his peers. Sergeants disease: Men who tried to discipline their families and run their homes as they would have their troops and barracks.
Weird article. I agree with it in principle ... but those were some weird examples to make the point.
I’ve never been accused of being feminine, excessively gentile, or pandering to my kids. But, I’ve knealt to speak to my son ... particularly when I’m scolding him. Its about being eye-to-eye with the boy, not symbolically getting on his level. I don’t pick him up to talk to him ... he can stand on his own.
As for whispering, I’ve found a lower voice typically gets more attention than shouting. You want to put the fear of God in a kid ... learn to growl while whispering. Hell, sometimes I don’t even need to say anything. A look will suffice.
I would agree in principle that people don’t toughen their kids up enough. I don’t think the kneeling and whispered-tones are a very good example, though.
SnakeDoc
No, they're children. When they're well-behaved at a restaurant, why should I be cold and aloof? My beef with the article is that, yes, there is a lack of masculinity in today's culture. Too bad such poor examples of that crisis were written about (e.g. stooping to address your kids as opposed to picking them up so that they're at your level - who does that?!)
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