Posted on 04/04/2012 11:36:32 PM PDT by thecodont
While most of the women I know wouldn’t stand for it, there’s been a lot of buzz around husbands opting not to wear their wedding bands.
According to some experts, people just don’t value the symbolism in a ring like they used to.
“I know I’m married, everybody else knows I’m married. I just don’t have no desire to wear it, at all.”
Richard Rhodes has been happily married for 15 years and says he hasn’t worn his ring since he tied the knot.
“I took it off right after the reception and I ain’t seen it since,” said Rhodes.
But the wedding ring is not just a symbol of love for married couples; it’s also an “off-limits” sign for singles.
Psychiatrist Gary Malone says that when a man decides not to wear his ring, it’s usually because he wants to “present himself as not married.” We didn’t need a psychiatrist to tell us that, but it helps.
“He gets all the payoff of presenting himself as single, while he actually gets the other payoff of having a wife at home,” Malone says.
(Excerpt) Read more at living.msn.com ...
If my premise is ridiculous, then so is everything that underpins Western civilization. Degrading or discounting the symbols of marriage is the first step to degrading the institution itself.
You can argue that other cultures do things in other ways, but that's not how it's done in this culture. In fact, our way predominates around the planet.
Cultural norms, like those of western-style marriage, come about because over long, long periods of time, people see that some ways of doing things lead to better survival for the group, and other ways of doing things lead to lowered survival potential for all concerned.
In our oh-so modern world, we're throwing away hard won centuries of valuable knowledge and cultural norms with wholesale abandon. The high divorce rate of today ought to give one a clue that maybe we're throwing out the baby with the bath water when it comes to familial unions.
pretty much covers the bases.
Mine is in the gun safe as well.
Regards the ties, best way to get drawn into the other guy's fist, or the dogs on the lathe,lol.
My Gf and I are "shacking up" as you call it. We were literally best friends, inseperable as a matter of fact, for a long time before becoming romantictly involved. We literally do everything together and have all the same interest in life(working out, running, cooking etc). I know for fact we have a stronger, more loving relationship than many married folks and many married people have told us that.
I know several couples who have never been married, produced several kids and have been together faithfully for 30+ years.
BTW; you must not do much physical work to not seem to understand that a wife or husband would rather have a whole spouse than one whom is a survivor of an industrial accident. Very few older working men wear rings that I know of. The ones who do are taking a great risk, it is more likely to get hung on something than you are to be hit crossing the street. Don't you use you hands far more times than you cross a street yourself?
A symbol is a nonverbal expression of a principle. Devalue the symbol as meaningless and over time you devalue the principle. Enough people devalue the symbol and soon the principle loses all meaning.
Yes, divorces are way too common and people need to be more committed in their marriages.No one is denying we have a problem.
But that being said I would take todays culture of allowed to get divorced over the 1920-1950's were married people stayed together due to social norms of the day and were miserable and just hated each other or the wife did not leave even though the husband beat the shiiiite out of her every other day.
I am sorry, but history says even in the US that men did not wear wedding rings, until recently. That is a fairly modern invention.
Even woman taking their husbands names is pretty modern, in the US.
Last names denote heritage, lineage, inheritance - women have not always change their names.
The custom in the US didn’t start until around 1800.
Even wearing wedding rings didn’t start in this country until around 1800 when some say the jewelry industry pushed it. Most people at that time felt the ring symbolized “purchase” of the bride, so it wasn’t for another 50 or so years before everyone had a bride’s ring.
Double ring ceremonies did not begin to gain any popularity until around 1935.
Not wearing a wedding ring is not the downfall of western civilization.
Wedding rings for men are a recent (last 75 years) innovation that was largely driven by jewelry industry marketing. In the 1920s, less than 15% of weddings were double ring ceremonies. After WW2, it was 80%.
I don’t know where you’re getting your data, but it’s fraudulent. Genealogical records clearly show that wives in western countries have been assuming their husband’s surnames for centuries.
Your information about wedding rings might be more accurate, but I don’t know that for a fact.
Good for you. I'm not such a prude that I'm going to condemn your committed relationship because you haven't married.
That's a different subject, though.
Good lord....spin your paranoia somewhere else, would ya? You're welcome to live a bubble-wrapped existence if it makes you feel safe.
I've been in the construction trades for over 30 years, and have worn my wedding band for well over half that time. I'm not taking it off because (shudders!) something might get caught on it. People with low alertness levels sometimes have accidents. I don't.
Years ago I was working in a NICU...sitting in a rocking chair next to me was a nurse. I had this bad habit of flipping my ring in my fingers..and I dropped it...and it rolled perfectly right under the rocking chair and flattened it. HA!! The nurse was mortified...I was cracking up laughing....as to what were the odds of that happening???
A few years ago....I was coming down some tree steps after hanging a deer stand. The steps had some serrated points on them....I was near the bottom..and jumped off, only to hang my ring on one of those babies. Cut the heck out of my finger...and about tore the ring in two.
My ring's been through the "ringer"!! ROFLOL!!
I'm not fortunate - I'm alert.
Ouch! Can’t say that I’ve never halfway caught my ring on something while I was in motion, but never anything as dire as what happened to you.
I don’t know. Maybe working with my hands all my life has made me more tuned in to where my fingers are at all times. Can’t say for sure, but given the sort of work I do for a living, you’ve got to be fully alert, or you’re gonna get hurt. Staying focused has become second nature to me, I guess.
Yeah...I’m an unfocused, barely alert goof ball.
Oh, I wouldn't go that far. I've read your posts for years, and you've got focus, my friend.
When can I measure up to you...oh, windflier san.
I should have clarified it to exclude taking it off for work. I’ve worked jobs too where I couldn’t have worn it but they were before I was married. The guy in the OP said he has never worn his, EVER. To me, barring a work hazard, the only reason to want to appear single is to be able to claim you’re single. That’s great if you’re okay with your husband not wearing his. Really.
LOL, reminds me of a little ribbon with a bow around your neck, I mean what the heck, who needs that.
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