Posted on 04/24/2011 5:55:00 AM PDT by grey_whiskers
Said Barack Bernanke O’Bama Goolsbee
My very young friend who lives out in D.C.
“The A is for Army. B’s for BATFE.”
“(There are way more besides this. Just listen to me.)”
“The C is for Congress. D stands for Defense.”
“And I is for IRS, they’re kind of intense.”
“The F is for FBI. The H is for HUD.”
“If you try to cut funding, your name will be MUD.”
“I know all the ‘Rat shrieking, hysterics, and F.U.D.”
“...through to Z is for Zillions. I know it, you see.”
Said Barack Bernanke O’Bama Goolsbee.
“So I know all the spending anyone knows
“From beginning to end. From the head to the toes.
“Because Zillion’s as far as the National Debt goes.”
His face fell and his gaze went right to the floor
When I grabbed the Red Ink and drew one letter more
Which had never been on the Teleprompter before!
And I said, “You can stop, if you want with the Z
“Because most people stop with the Z
“But not me!”
“There are places I go and there are things that I see
“That I could never afford if I stopped with the Z.
“I’m telling you ‘cause you’re one of George Soros’s friends --
“but MY spending starts where your deficit ends!
My alphabet starts with this letter called GREE
it’s the letter that starts up the word that is spelled GREEN
...at least that’s our story, it’s really for GREED
When you’re P.C. in D.C., you can get wealthy indeed
You’ll be really surprised how much cash can be found
When you step beyond Z and let spending abound!
Let’s race beyond Zillion!
And Spend!
Like in Congress!
Discover new programs!
Like PORQ is for PORQ-U-LUS,
My high-spending Whale who lives on Capitol Hill
Who Never Stops Stimulus till he’s emptied the Till !
So, on Beyond Zillion! It’s high time that you see
That there’s no life like our life, living high in D.C.
Then just spend a red cent further past PORQ is for PORQ
And there you’ll find PRICE-UP which is for PRICE-UP-PORT
A Sort of A Cow, with its hoofs and an udder
But you cannot feed it, by Golly! Oh brudder!
She has sixty-two stomachs which must always be fed
But instead of Milk, she gives Ink, brightest red
And Gosh! From most people, she’s been kept VERY well hidden --
but not YOU, for beyond Zillion
You have been bidden!
I ramble, I scramble through
Where the letters get better. Like letters like OPE.
Like in that “HOPE” poster? Is that it?
I doubt it.
You can’t spell the word “OPEC” without it.
If you stop at the big Z,
you’re off in a ditch.
But once beyond Zillion,
you’re fabulous Rich!
I know of a fancy letter that’s called JUNKETT
used by ex-Speaker Pelosi -- well, who would have thunk it?
And oh! what a Botoxed specimen is she
(almost like John Kerry, with his Purple Hearts three)
Back when she was Speaker, she’d travel of course
on a fine charted jet from the U.S. Air Force
It was free -- well to her, that is, with her millions
but to us, that’s the price, if we go beyond ZIllions.
And LIKK is for LIKKOR as sold by Ole ‘Ted
(Alas! He’s not with us, he got ill in his head)
He didn’t just sell it, for he also drank --
it got him in trouble with more than one skank
While still in the Senate, he screwed up the Nation
by pushing for Open-Borders Immigration
And N00 is the letter I use to spell N00BIES
Congressional Freshmen, a bunch of cheap boobies
who listen to simple-minded Tea Baggers for Votes
The Baggers have problems, I read in my Notes
For they don’t like high taxes, they’re Racist as Well
The Libs think the Baggers should all go to Hell
Because on this Issue, concerning High Spending
They’re close-minded Bigots, completely unbending!
And among the TeaBaggers, we go on to BECCK.
The BECCK’s the last letter in the fearsome GlennBECCK.
He’s like a mosquito, he bites and you itch
And it’s so hard to swat him, the son of a --
Kitsch, all his act is. The National Mood
is ruined by his calling, “Buy Guns! Gold! and Food!”
He’s a pain in the rear, the Jerkest of Jerks
as he keeps on exposing George Soros’ networks
Which is quite disconcerting, so I hope you can see
we could get past the Zillion, if it weren’t for He!
My next letter is BRTH, and BRTH is for BRTHRS
a kind of naïve political Flat-Earthers
They think that our President was born overseas!
But he’s posted his docs online if you please
but the BRTHRS all claim that those docs are a fake
and his election has been just One Big Ass Mistake!
When you go beyond Zillion
Who can tell...? There’s no knowing
What large wads of cash
You might find yourself blowing
Like ALG is for ALGOR, the Great Nobel Winner
Who says Carbon emissions will make you a sinner
He doesn’t want oil..! Use wind turbines, or solar
(but driving electric’s like pulling a molar)
Now that you know that, it shouldn’t seem strange
He once backed the Chicago Carbon Exchange.
And SPAZ is the letter you use to spell SPAZM
Keith Olbermann, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews all has ‘em
If you mention Republicans, then they lose their grip
and go into a SPAZM, and launch a guilt trip
For daring to challenge the will of Teh One
“You racist!
You bigot!
And I’ll bet you still bitterly cling to your Gun!”
As they scream all the blood rushes up to their head
and their faces, once pasty-white, turn all beet-red
But once they are finished, with the libs they all mingle
until once again up their leg they feel that Tingle
And OHB’s the first letter of OHB-AMA-CARE
which wastes so much money that it doesn’t seem fair
If you’re not feeling fine
you go stand in a line
and wait till you die. (That’s for YOUR plan, not mine!)
And FANN’s the first letter of old FANNIE MAE,
it’s linked to a Congressman known to be gay
No, not that toe-tapper, I mean Barney Frank
For our housing bubble, we have HIM to thank--
He wrote regulations, while his “boyfriend” Herb Moses
(and the whole housing market) took undignified poses
And the banks lent to ANYONE, they thought they were so sharp
that we have to cover the whole mess with a TARP
If you’ll try to look under it,
You’ll certainly see
Why most people stop at the Z
but not ME!
And JOBZ is used in the word AINT-GOT-NO-JOBS
which is why we have so many dissatisfied mobs
They’re finding it hard to enjoy much enjoyment
once they’ve run out of their ninety-nine weeks’ unemployment
Their troubles began once it was disclosed
that their job went to China, and their house was foreclosed
So you see!
There’s no end
to the HOPE and the CHANGE
as we go beyond Zillion, where numbers are strange!
I’ve a letter called YUNE. And the YUNE is for YUNE-YUN
A kind of a bureaucrat’s holy communion
YUNE-YUNS run in packs, and they write vicious notes
and hold up big signs when they’re protesting votes
But Democrats love ‘em, ‘cause of things they call DUES
that will help re-elect you, when you’ve got on the News
because of your running around with some Flooze
A YUNE-YUN will tell you, who has to be hired
and then demand pensions, once they are retired
But if you want to play politics, there’s no other choice
but you’ll be their puppet, and they’ll be your voice
Oh, we’ve gone round the bend
but continue to spend!
VROOM-VROOM is the sound made by fast motor cars
the ones with the YUNE-YUN labels upon thars
(And if that last line, it reminds you of Sneetches
we’ve no time for them now; we’re talking ‘bout leeches)
The cars made by workers with hands so adroit
you know they could only have come from Detroit!
But within each car, hidden inside its cost
is thousands in benefits. So THAT’s why they lost!
So without consulting bond-holders or voters
GM got bought out -- it’s now GOVERNMENT Motors!
There’s a letter called EMESS, and it’s for EMESS-EMM,
who cheers on the President. He relies on them.
The EMESS-EMM echoes, both in TV and print
(Though we’ve switched to Rush Limbaugh, they just can’t take a hint.)
The next-to-last letter, and far from the least
is the letter called HILDE. The Great HILDEBEAST
once hoped to be President...after her mate.
“Alas, close but no Cigar!” That was her fate.
(She’s come as close as Secretary of State.)
She’s angry, it seems, her career has been marred
I think that she blames it all on the Race Card.
Will she turn on the President? It seems she desires
to do more than just put out Regional Fires.
And, way, WAY, past Zillion is a letter called T’CHI
And T’CHI is for T’CHI-COMMS, let me tell you why
They’ve taken our industry, with nary a peep
from our politicians, ‘cause they work dirt-cheap
And our businessmen thought it would lead to big sales
but they just kept our money, it’s the mother of all FAILS
But you’ve not heard the end of this sad tale yet
for you see, it’s the T’CHI-COMMS who finance our debt!
The Places I Took Him!
To get him to see
Young Barack Bernanke O’Bama Goolsbee
The money he’d spend if he hung out with me.
I took him by the hand and I tried hard to show
the numbers past Zillion, where Pink Unicorns go!
I took him past Z just as far as I could
and I think I can tell he’s finally understood...
Because at last he said:
“It looks like a Plan.
When I was elected, last time that I ran.
I won with a motto, it said, ‘Yes We Can’...
“But now I’ve a new one.”
With a glint in his eye,
He said, “How’s this grab you?”
It’s “Arbeit Macht Frei!”
...oh, and Happy Easter!
Fresh birdcage liner!
...oh, and Happy Easter! (He is Risen Indeed!)
A delight, even if I heard it in Jesse-uh Jackson’s voice. And a happy Easter to you, too.
Clever! (and Happy Easter right back at you):)
BTTT
...Arbeit Macht Frei.... the sign over the gates of Auschwitz: "Work makes you free."
Now there's a famous "bait and switch!" The Jews who entered there thought they were going to a work camp, not a death camp....
Great stuff grey_whiskers!
(This is an encore presentation of a vanity first posted on April 24, 2011. Somehow it seems strangely relevant.)
Cheers!
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