Posted on 02/26/2011 12:13:54 PM PST by John Semmens
President Barack Obama and US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner sought to downplay fears that unrest in the Middle East would negatively impact the US economy by hailing a Virginia man’s invention of a rainbow-making machine as a harbinger of a brighter future for America.
The device is the brainchild of Michael Jones McKean, an assistant professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. It uses a large scale sprinkler system and the light of the sun to create rainbows averaging about 1,000 feet in length. Each device can produce a rainbow of 15 minute duration twice a day. A prototype is currently being installed on top of a building in Omaha, Nebraska.
“This is a very encouraging development for this country,” said an upbeat President Obama. “A rainbow is a sign that the storm is over, that a brighter day lies ahead. If we have the means to create a rainbow wherever and whenever we want we won’t have to wait for their random occurrence after rain storms. We can boost the people’s morale on an ‘as needed’ basis anytime we want.”
Since the device is powered by rainwater and biodiesel fuel, the President also cited the project as “an example of the ‘green’ economy my Administration is trying to build. There are 30,000 towns and cities in this country. Each one of these will need at least one of these machines. Constructing them will employ millions, not to mention the investment and jobs necessary to grow, transport, and refine the corn needed for the biofuel.”
Treasury Secretary Geithner highlighted what he called the “self-financing characteristics of an investment in these devices. Up to now, our ability to capitalize by recovering the pots of gold at the ends of rainbows has been hampered by the lack of foreknowledge on when and where a rainbow would appear. This combined with their short life span has frustrated our ability to take full advantage of the opportunity. With these machines, though, we’ll know exactly where and when these rainbows will appear. This should maximize our chances for an optimal rate of return.”
While admitting that he was “unsure of just how much gold is in any given pot,” Geithner said, “at the price gold is going for these days, I’m confident it will be a quite a lot—maybe enough to pay down some of the federal debt after the cost of construction and operation of the machines is covered.”
ead more...
http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/02/26/president-and-treasury-secretary-downplay-mid-east-strife-hail-invention/
A rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of it. More walking around cash for the anointed one.
Does it also produce flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children dance and laugh and play with gumdrop smiles?
Great and brutally honest satire.
Welcome to the reality of enlightened 21st century understanding of economic development.
Give the goose a gimmick while throwing so much of its feed in to the garbage burner it can’t even poop anymore let alone lay a golden egg.
Read Atlas Shrugged.
ping
LOL. We all need rainbows....and sprinkles too.
The best humor is often simultaneously fictional yet true, n'est ce pas?
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Beat me to it.
We will now make our own rainbows with a pot to p..in. But no gold. Perpetual motion anyone?
Cheers!
Best line of your best work to date, John!
Great satire John. I can’t help but think my tagline forever, and this satire sort of work together. Fairies, and rainbows.
Jesse Jackson and his Rainbow Coalition will of course take credit for the inspiration.
“If you join,
you’ll get some coin.”
You ALWAYS make my day!
Al Gore already invented this ... you will be hearing from his lawyers.
Thanks, John. Brilliant as usual. :)
The rainbow is also the “gay pride” sign that Obama is so fond of.
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