Lightning Rod Gets The Zot

The Poet's Eye ^ | Lightning Rod

[Lrod]

A character like Christine O'Donnell presents a unique problem for a humorist. Few elaborations are called for since the caricature is self-embodied. All that is needed is a dead-pan Jack Benny look. You know, the one where he just stares blankly at the audience without saying a word and eventually someone titters and before you know it the whole place is in hysterics? Her very existence as a major party candidate for US Senate is the kind of comedy which arrives ready-written and would only be spoiled by embellishment. I mean, what can you add to rabidantimasturbationtarianism, rats with fully-functioning human brains and her famous Witches of Eastwick campaign ad that looks like it was produced by Tim Burton? I had fully intended to leave Ms. O'Donnell to the other comedians and the pundits who were wearing her out on cable TV. But then came the most recent revelation that she has claimed that her father was Bozo the Clown. Here I had to break my silence, not in the name of humor, but in the cause of veracity. This is a subject I happen to know something about.

Long ago, for one magic season, I was related by marriage to Bozo the Clown. I'm not making this up. My father was a semi-notorious lothario in the television and advertising business. Sometime after he turned 50, he married the 17 year-old daughter of one of his professional colleagues, Larry Harmon, the guy who owned the franchise to Bozo, the Most Famous Clown in the World. He was Bozo Primero, not one of the many FauxZos who were franchised in every major media market. I was much closer to the power center of the Bozo world than Ms. O'Donnell ever dreamed of being. It gave me an intimate glimpse into the backstage life of clowns. I knew little of the inside workings of the clown business in those days. Like a naive child, I had assumed that, you know, Bozo was Bozo. It never occurred to me that there was a school, like a Bozo boot-camp, where imposters went to learn how to walk like a Bozo and talk like a Bozo and draw the red rictus of a smile on their faces with greasepaint. It was like learning a dirty family secret and it was a big disappointment. When you go to see Bozo, you want it to really be Bozo, not some guy dressed up in a Bozo costume.

I hadn't thought about my brief inclusion in greasepaint royalty for years until Ms. O'D surfaced with her claims of actually being a blood relative of Bozo the Clown. The marriage between my father and Princess Bozo, which was chronologically challenged to begin with, barely outlasted the honeymoon. They had about as much in common as Christine would have in common with the 99 other US Senators. Suddenly the whole subject bubbled from my subconscious and made me wonder about franchises and politicians and the authenticity of clowns.

Since John Quincy Adams carried forth his father's political legacy, American politicians have campaigned on the richness of their family's past public service. Roosevelt and Kennedy and Bush all represent minor dynasties and it is entirely in keeping with this tradition for Ms. O'D to claim descent from Bozo. Clowning is as present in the current of American politics as populism, liberalism or conservatism. But in light of Ms. O'D's penchant for resume enhancement, she fibbed about her college career and has downplayed her wiccan studies, her claims to clownly ancestry are also suspect. While she seems like a natural and can certainly get a laugh and works well in the side-shows, one has to wonder if she is really ready for the Big Top, the center ring.

The US Senate is the Big League of Buffoonery. Even pros like Colbert have trouble hanging there. It's a tough room. Notice that Al Franken, even with all his years of practical comic experience, has been keeping mum in deference to the mime-masters of the Senate. These clowns can juggle, ride unicycles, do pratfalls and get shot from cannons, all with the perfect dead-pan of their painted-on media faces. They are consummate clowns adept with all the tricks, the seltzer bottle, the pie-in-the-face, the filibuster. I don't want to get all Stephen King on you but these aren't nice clowns. Ms. O'D should think twice before she alienates her witch constituency, she may need some strong juju to avoid the dunking stool. They'll make her the senator-punk-clown. Every troupe of clowns has one, the smallest clown, bottom of the pecking order, the one who all the other clowns slap and when there is no smaller clown for her to slap, she turns to the audience with her out-turned palms and pitiful Emmett Kelly frown and says, "I am you."

Two of the greatest Senatorial Clowns, Lloyd Bentson and Dan Quayle, in their famous vice-presidential debate in 1988 demonstrated the type of cut-throat comedy these jokers are capable of. When Quayle set the joke up by comparing his inexperience to the inexperience of Jack Kennedy, Bentson spiked it with this punch-line, "Senator," he said, "I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Jack Kennedy."

The Poet's Eye would like to say to Christine O'Donnell in this same spirit, "Ms. O'Donnell, you say your father is Bozo. Well, I knew Bozo. Bozo was briefly my step-grand-father-in-law. Christine, your father was no Bozo."

Yes I’m stuck in the middle with you, and I’m wondering what it is I should do. It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face. Losing control yeah I'm all over the place.

Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with you. ---Joe Egan and Gerry Rafferty

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[Monkey Face]

I get the LOLcats and LOLdogs in email every morning, but I never tire of seeing them posted here!

If I ever get into my own place, I’ll have at least one of each!!

[Darksheare]

A Manx is kinda like a stub tailed version of a dog cat.
They act like dogs, for some strange reason.
Right now, Bobby White is guarding me from.. I don’t knwo what she’s guarding me from.
But she is guarding me.
Odd.

[Darksheare]

Story stub of Bradamante, section falls between Sigma waking up and the ship being rebuilt:

Sigma finished relating as much as he dared to his audience, they were uincomfortable with his description of his death.
“It was rough, frightening, and not unexpected. I just hoped that the nanites functioned as they were designed.”
“Well, out of all of that I did find out why your heart stopped.” the slim figure leaned into his view as he sipped his electrolyte.
“And?”
“Well, your two prototype nanites fought my. er.. Eva’s nanites when she tried to control you. They pinched off the nerve bundles controlling your heart.” the figure looked at the floor and spoke progressively lower, “I had a hard time clearing the blockage and convincing them to go back to their original locations.”
Sigma looked at her, he had a feeling he knew who she was, that shade of eye color looked so familiar.
“Well, let’s get started on the next portion of our project.” Kappa stepped forward, he seemed to be forestalling something.
Sigma couldn’t place what.
“Yes, let’s get this show on the road. Obviously you didn’t come looking just for me.” Sigma tried to stand, and the slim figure raced over to push him back ito the gurney.
She had surprising strength for such a slim figure.
“Alright, I’ll stay put.”
“Yes, you will, or I’ll find a way to keep you restrained until you heal. Otherwise you will prolong the repairs to your body and I’m not sure how much more punishment this shell can take.” she poked him in the chest to underscore the point as he flinched.
How’d she know about that painful spot there where Eva had zapped him with the nanite injector all those years ago?

[Darksheare]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWivJQnJ_3E

Song that goes with Sigma relating freezing to ‘death’.

[Monkey Face]

She obviously thinks you are worthy of her vigilance. If she alerts you, you can handle the bad guys!

[sionnsar]

Bummed is more like it. I know the e-mail is continuing to build way beyond my ability to respond and I am probably missing important things. And IT is moving none too quickly.

Oh well. "The dog ate my e-mail."

[Monkey Face]

As long as the DOG is in the background, you have a way out! Perhaps TC could loan you Ash for the “my dog ate my homework” episode!

Ash is big enough that she could convince anyone that she really DID eat the homework!

[sionnsar]

Heh. I just might use that for my blog.

Doing better -- beer helped in downing the steak sandwich this evening, so I got some protein. Things should be better tomorrow but if not I'm having lunch with an Indian company, after a morning meeting with them, and Indian food has delicious vegetarian options. Then it's back to my conference for the rest of the week until (O Happy Day) I fly home.

[Monkey Face]

For some reason, my calendar keeps saying “December 8, 2010”

That may be just wishful thinking on my part, but as a fellow traveler, I can say, “Crossword and Variety Puzzles!”

Time killers, all...

[Darksheare]

Problem is, she tries to enter the battle too.

[Darksheare]

Delain - April Rain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z6G2VixTMI

[Darksheare]

More Delain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CA85jt0zCOo

[Darksheare]

Heh heh heh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7chgR6Ia2Kc

[ColdOne]

Just a hello for today. I took a nap and my RA is bothering me somewhat these days. Hope you are having a safe nice one! Take Care!

[Monkey Face]

I have a friend with RA, and she never knows when she’s going to have a good day or even a good hour.

I hope you feel better soon!

[ColdOne]

;)

[ColdOne]

So tomorrow new Dead Thread!

[Darksheare]

Ready the thread invasion equipment!
We’ll teleFRAG the gates of the thread down and then send in wave after wave of ZOM-B units.

[ColdOne]

Ready the thread invasion equipment! Ready!

[Darksheare]

Now all we need to do is find out what and where our target thread is.
And for that, we need the navigators.